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So long diet

February 10, 2016

The long wait is finally over.

After, who remembers how long, the Denny’s is my town is finally open.

For the first time in my life, I live in a town that has a Denny’s.

The sign went up a long time ago, that a Denny’s was coming soon. I waited and waited and waited. Eventually a hole got dug in the ground and foundation was laid. Then some framing went up. Eventually walls and a roof. Slowly slowly slowly progress was being made.

Last Wednesday, I did my weekly drive-by to see if it’s open. Nope.

Saturday, I drove to something across the street from this Denny’s and saw a lot of cars out front and a small sign saying “NOW OPEN.”

When I finished doing what I was doing across the street, I hit Denny’s for lunch.

Then I went back on Monday for lunch.

Then Tuesday was Pancake Tuesday. So Denny’s again, obviously.

It’s now Wednesday morning. The Denny’s craving is hitting me pretty hard right now.

Garlic Doughnuts

February 4, 2016

272821My mind almost exploded when I saw the words “garlic doughnuts” on a menu. Those are like the two greatest words ever and they’re together, like they’re one thing. My tiny brain couldn’t fathom what it was seeing.

I was at this bar in downtown TO over the weekend. A bar called Bar Hop. This place specializes in beer, but not like every other bar in the world. This place puts beer on the menu likes it some over-rated wine. Whatever floats yer boat, right?

The waiter is taking orders at the table and each person chose some beer, I guess. Then came my turn.

“Garlic doughnuts!”

“A beer sir?”

“Beer, uh… nah… I’ll just have a ginger-ale, I guess.”

“Okay, the doughnuts and a ginger-ale. Coming right up.”

Everybody at the table looked at me like I was weird or something. No. The only thing weird is that I have to go all the way downtown and hit up some beer joint for a garlic doughnut.

They turned out to be doughnut holes, which is fine with me, that taste like fried balls of garlicy awesomeness.

Finding a good doughnut has become a chore but a garlic doughnut. That’s the kind of thing you write home to mama about.

“Hey WIGSF, how was your weekend?”

“Garlic doughnuts.”

“That’s all you have to say? Garlic doughnuts?”

“What else is there to say? Garlic doughnuts.”

One day there will be religion to the garlic doughnut. Nothing against Allah or Jesus or Buddha or whatever, but garlic doughnuts tops ’em all.

Government Boo

February 2, 2016

I’m just going to crap on the government for a bit.

The new federal government went out of their way to import Syrian refugees into Canada.

You see, for years, Syrians have been fleeing Syria due to a civil war brought on as part of the Arab Spring movement and the Iraqi troubles following Saddam Hussein’s ousting by NATO.

I understand that Syria isn’t the best place to be in right now. The old ruling party is at war with people trying to overthrow it. The old ruling party is corrupt and mean to some people, yadda yadda yadda. It’s the Middle East. This is nothing new. This is the system that was created following World War I by European intervention following the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. Meanwhile, ISIS or ISIL or the Islamic State or whatever they’re being called today sprung up because nobody was holding them down anymore. (Sidenote: not all the people Iraq and Syria have been holding down were good people, some of them were pretty evil.) ISIS have been causing lots of headaches in the region. Especially for those who don’t subscribe to their specific view of Islam.

Did you know the Middle East is the birthplace of Christianity? Did you know there are still Christians in the Middle East? What do you think ISIS is doing with the Christian communities they find?

Nobody knows. Or those who do know, aren’t getting the word out.

I’m afraid that in ten years or so there will be a big news story about the ethnic cleansing going on in the Levant.

The refugees Canada is bringing in are from the camps in Jordan. These are people who got out a while ago.

I don’t want to sound like a war monger but we need troops on the ground in Syria right now. Not bombers in the sky, not officers and consultants. We need troops there on the ground going town to town to wipe out ISIS.

Canadians remember Rwanda. Our military officers witnessed a genocide. Now, they can witness another one.

 

(I really didn’t make a decent point here. I’m just venting.)

Roadkill

January 28, 2016

An animal ran in front of my car last night as I drove home. I’m not sure what species of animal it was. I am sure it got underneath both the front and rear left tires of my car.

How am I supposed to get a good night’s sleep when thirty minutes prior to bedtime, I become an unwilling accomplice to suicide?

I feel bad for the little thing. I didn’t get a good look at it. I just saw a grey blur with a tail run in front of my car from the cemetery. Then my car bumped and bumped again. The first bump bigger than the last.

That road is a pretty regular drive for me. Last night was not the first time something ran across the street from the cemetery in front of my car. First time for me that the something picked a really bad time to make the crossing. I know I’ve seen cats make that crossing. Once I saw a guy make the crossing. Barely saw the guy. He was wearing all black at the time. This is just one of those spots. Old trees obscure road lamps making the stretch a bit darker. In that situation, why cross there? Fifty feet in either direction finds a crosswalk. Okay, an animal might not use the crosswalk. However, I did once see a cockroach near Times Square wait for the light to change before crossing Broadway. I swear to God that happened. I have a witness. An NYC cockroach is a more careful pedestrian than an NYC human.

Weekend Recap: Retail Walking

January 18, 2016

Friday

After work, I hit Hillcrest Mall to get my walk on. Mall walk that is. I have not walked much in the past couple of weeks. It is getting to that time of year when walking outside is not that much fun.

In the mall, I noticed nothing. That mall is dead. It’s going out of it’s way to not look dead but it’s dead. Lipstick on a dead pig is still just lipstick on a dead pig.

I purchased a greeting card for an upcoming birthday gift. Meh.

Saturday

My mother asked me to spend some time with her in the morning. I took her to Yorkdale Mall. Not so much for the mall walking, although I did get my mall walk on, more so for some shopping. A present to go with the greeting card.

In the evening, I had dinner at East Side Mario’s, an Italian-American-themed restaurant. Imagine Olive Garden that looks like that New York-themed casino in Vegas. Real cheesy, and not just the food. A combination of some discount program, a gift card and unlimited salad enabled me to fill up for just a few dollars. My entree was grilled chicken and rice. Keeping it low cal.

Sunday

I super-nerded a gift wrapping job. I wrote the name of the person on the card envelope in a made-up language from Dungeons & Dragons. Why? I dunno. I was just feeling really nerdy. The person getting the gift will probably get it.

As I was doing my laundry, I noticed my cat was freakin’ wired. Guy was running around the house like a crazy person.

Oh shit. I just said ‘person’ forĀ  a cat. It’s a cat!

I wonder if somebody dosed Abraham the Jewish Cat with some catnip when I wasn’t looking.

Oh yes. That’s the cat’s name, Abraham the Jewish Cat.

Abraham because the documents I received upon adopting the cat from the shelter had him named Abraham. And the Jewish Cat because Abraham is a pretty imporant figure in Judaism and he’s been clipped in the junk. Not clipped like a Jewish baby boy, but you know, close enough.

So yeah, Abe was running around from room to room at break-neck speed. Not his usual demeanor. Abe usually follows me down the stairs then back up the stairs. On Sunday, he shot up the stairs to meet at the landing then pulled a u-turn and went right back down. He never stopped to wait for me. Then when downstairs, he ran into one room, turned around and ran into another room. Usually he just stops on various carpets in whatever room I’m in and rolls around. He didn’t do this last winter. And in the summer, I forgot I had a cat. Never saw him. He was outside all the time.

Toronto’s Hug Me Tree

January 14, 2016

I used to be with it, but then they changed what *it* was. Now what I’m with isn’t *it*, and what’s *it* seems weird and scary to me. It’ll happen to you…

Those places I used to hang out around in my youthful years are now weird to me.

Today, I learned about this thing called the Hug Me Tree. Who knows how many times I’ve walked by this thing. I never realized it was a thing. Looking at photos of it right now, I know I’ve seen it but never really noticed it before.

Maybe next time I’m in that part of town, I’ll notice it. Doubt I’ll hug though. It’s a tree stump. Probably been pissed on by thousands of dogs. Probably been hugged by tons of smelly hippies too.

On the line with online

January 8, 2016

On November 23rd I made some purchases from online retailers. I tried to get a jump on my Christmas shopping. I figured one month would be a proper lead time for shipping to my isolated little burg. (I live on the outskirts of the continents fourth or fifth largest metropolis. Something like that.)

The first purchase was from a company based in Georgia (the American state, not the Armenian neighbour). In under two weeks, the products arrived at my front door. I wasn’t there. So I picked up the products from the big mamma-jamma UPS distribution centre in my city.

The second purchase was from a company claiming to be from Oregon. The retailer gave me a tracking number to follow my purchase.

The product was shipping from near Los Angeles, California by Asendia. Seems odd to me that an Oregon based retailer would ship from LA. Also seems odd to me that an internet retailer would use Asendia. I’ve never heard of this shipping company. Is Asendia a real company? Anybody ever used this company? Anybody ever heard of them?

I’ve been tracking this product since I ordered it. On December 10th, the product arrived in Canada with expected delivery on December 15th. (I’m writing this in January.)

I didn’t sit on this and stew. I took action. On the 21st of December, I made a demand on the retailer. “This is a Christmas gift. By the 23rd, I want my product or my money back.”

I received some apologetic emails and eventually a refund. It took a week or so for the refund to be processed because the retailers were busy because of the holidays. Or so they claimed every time I sent another email expressing my extreme displeasure.

This morning, I checked the status of the tracking number. There has been no change. I don’t know if that means the product is still in limbo somewhere in the great white north where Asendia has no ability to move air let alone three pairs of socks. (Yeah, that’s right. Shipping socks is apparently the world’s most difficult task. The product I purchased was socks.) Or, does it mean the product was never shipped at all, the tracking is all a rouse and I was lucky that I got the refund at all.

Did you know I’ve purchased socks online from American retailers before? I purchased socks from joyofsocks.com. They shipped using the United States Postal Service. I received those socks in an appropriate amount of time. Two weeks or so.

Live and learn, I guess.

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