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Christmas is Coming

November 16, 2010

If I waited for local retailers to tell me when Christmas was coming, I’d have been prepared for the holiday a month and a half ago. That was when I started seeing Christmas-themed merchandise all over the place. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t already there. It just means I didn’t notice it until a month and a half ago.

I generally wait for the weather to turn a bit before getting into the Christmas season.

My family’s Christmas traditions seem to be in flux right now. The holiday is never really celebrated the exact same way every year. Things keep changing.

The few things I know will happen, the few traditions that I now will be renewed this year are as such. On Christmas Eve, my father will cook dinner consisting of shellfish and pasta. He will make lobsters and crabs and mussels and clams. My brother and sister will come over for dinner. After dinner, my father will open all of the presents without looking at the card. He will just rip open the wrapping, try to figure out what the gift is then reach for the next gift. It’s up to the gift-giver to hand the gift to the person in which the gift was intended.

Everything else that will happen is completely up in the air. I have no idea what will be happening Christmas Day. Will I be staying in and having people over? Will I be going to some other home and celebrating with other people? I don’t know.

I have floated out an idea to some of my friends that I will be willing to participate in a Kris Kringle game. Frankly, that’s, more than anything else, a cost-cutting maneuver on my part. I haven’t got the kind of money to get gifts for people, things they actually need. All I can really afford this year are cheap, gag gifts.

In terms of movies and television specials, every family has that one movie, if not more than one, that must be watched every Christmas season. Some families watch the animated television specials like Rudolph and Frosty and the Grinch. Some families watch Biblical epics. Others watch comedies like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or Christmas Story. What does my family watch? We watch Bad Santa.

Bad Santa is a unique film. Although the lead character, Willie played by Billy Bob Thornton, is about as close to Seuss’ Grinch character as we’ve ever seen in a film; he isn’t actually trying to steal Christmas. Through his sheer reckless behaviour, he has the potential to ruin Christmas for everybody around him, Willie doesn’t try to take their Christmas from them. In the climax of the film, he sees the err of his ways and goes out of his way to save Christmas for those who see past the Grinch to the inate good in him. Oh, and the film features such unique things like a cursing little person, a busty barmaid with a Santa fetish and the seldom-heard term “Elf fucker.”

6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 16, 2010 11:57 am

    I think that this Christmas might be different to previous ones. A while back we stopped having the big dinner, going for a rolling buffet instead. Worked great with the kids. Not sure about this year at all! I feel like changing things, but not sure what to!

    Well, I would avoid buffets as I am opposed to the practice of buffets. I would also say get rid of the big dinner and use the day off to relax. Families can have big dinners all year round. Use the holiday to get some rest and relaxation.

  2. November 16, 2010 2:00 pm

    Thank you kindly for introducing me to that movie.

    Always welcome.

  3. Riot Kitty permalink
    November 16, 2010 8:49 pm

    I must use “elf fucker” in a sentence sometime!

    Certainly an under-used curse.

  4. November 16, 2010 10:04 pm

    Your dad opens ALL the gifts? That man. He needs to be restrained.

    Of course my father needs to be restrained… what’s this about gifts?

    I can’t believe you watch Bad Santa every year. I saw that movie recently and it was one of the most depressing films I’ve ever endured. My husband thought it was hilarious. I would rather go out and sit in a snowbank for 120 minutes that watch that horror show again.

    Hits too close to home, hmmm…

  5. November 16, 2010 10:55 pm

    Why don’t you change the tradition this year and open all of the presents before your father does?

    Yeah, like that’ll happen. He’s worse (more impatient) than a child.

  6. November 17, 2010 1:33 am

    Oh yeah, the Grinch, the animated one! And the Charlie Brown Christmas. No TV this year, so we may have to make due with library finds. :) Not sure about Bad Santa. I have kids, you know, so we’ll see. :)

    I think children should be exposed to a drinking shitting fucking Santa Claus.

    Yeah, that whole decorating thing that the stores do – down here it’s like they skip Thanksgiving (next week for us) now. Sad.

    Should be the other way around. Thanksgiving is a secular holiday, therefore it’s okay to over-commercialize it. Christmas is a religious holiday and shouldn’t be commercialized.

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