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If I Could, I Would…

December 9, 2010

If I could get Christmas gifts for all the bloggers on my blogroll, I would. But sometimes it’s best not to break the fourth wall.

For this post, I’m theorizing gift ideas for all the bloggers on my blogroll.

For Hex of Sleep Dirt, I get you a Jim Dunlop Cry Baby. You play guitar. It is my belief that every guitar player needs a wah pedal.

For Rachel of Lessons Learned, I get you a large blank wall so that you may paint a mural on it.

For DarcKnyt of DarcKnyt, I get you a new desktop computer. A good one. Built with reliable and durable components.

For Yellowcat of Do You Do That At Home?, I get you a big warm sweater with a lolcat printed on the front.

For Riot Kitty of Riot Kitty, I get you a kitten, black with a white patch on the neck.

For DarcNess of The Ness In DarcNess, I get you a new laptop computer. A large laptop, 15″ screen with lots of battery power.

For Christielli of Permanent Title Under Construction, I get you a turntable and a stack of classic LPs. Various titles from the 1960s, 70s and 80s. Songs From Big Pink by The Band, Tapestry by Carole King, Bat Out Of Hell by MeatLoaf, Something/Anything? by Todd Rundgren, Synchronicity by The Police and Reckless by Bryan Adams, to name a few.

For Rock Chef of Studious Rock Chef, I get you the board game Talisman.

For Princess Pessimism of …unhinged…, I get you a party size pizza from Dante’s. Toppings are your choice.

For Ignore the Buckles on My Jacket of Ignore the Buckles on My Jacket, I get you a team photo the 1957 Detroit Lions football team, autographed by each player.

For Miss Ash of Something’s Gotta Give, I get you a Swarovski crystal figurine of a penguin.

For Wiwille of One Bad Apple, a pair of 50 yard line seats for the next time the Seahawks play at Dallas.

For Bob of What About Bob?, I get you a video of Rob Babcock kicking Vince Carter in the balls.

For Sparkling Red of Adventures in Sparkland, I get you the XBox 360 Kinect accessory.

For Rob of The Delete Bin, I get you The Anthology of American Folk Music edited by Harry Smith 6 CD boxset.

For No Celery Please of No Celery Please, I get you celery. Just kidding. C’mon. Couldn’t resist it. Seriously, I get you some metal studded elbow and knee pads for those hardcore roller derby matches.

For Heff of Heff’s Bar and Grill, I had to ask Bob and Doug Mackenzie for help on this one. They suggested I get you a beer.

Now, I don’t want anybody getting disappointed when you check the mail and see nothing from me in there. These gift ideas are all theoretical. In reality, I ain’t getting you fuck all.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. December 9, 2010 11:53 am

    Talisman – ah the hours we spent playing that and similar games!

    There needs to be more similar games to Talisman.

  2. December 9, 2010 11:53 am

    It’s the virtual thought that counts…

    Oh dear, I missed you on the new blogroll. It will be corrected.

  3. Sparkling Red permalink
    December 9, 2010 1:06 pm

    If I could find or create them, I would get you a more durable set of Mon-Keys.

    They all melted. What can I say? I have hot loins.

  4. December 9, 2010 2:32 pm

    *gasp* Oh I LOVE it! Thank you so much! :D

    I hope you like the all-expenses-paid week long vacation in Aruba I got for you. :)

    Aruba??? I hate the beach. Keep it for yourself.

    • December 9, 2010 7:13 pm

      Ah. Well. I thought you’d like something tropical, away from the cold, girls in bikinis, that sort of thing. Take the money for that and go wherever you’d like then!

      Pfft. Shows how well you know me and my beach-abhoring ways.

      • December 10, 2010 2:35 pm

        You want to go to the little garlic town in CA when they have their garlic festival?

  5. December 9, 2010 2:36 pm

    I LOVE pizza!!! good choice. (but I would have preferred a decent boyfriend and no more drama! LOL)

    Can’t buy a boyfriend. Oh well, there was this one time…

  6. December 9, 2010 2:47 pm

    Hey, I USED to be on the blogroll !

    I guess it was that “Brett The Shitman Shart” comment that did me in.

    Oh well, it’s the thought that counts anyway, right ? lol.

    You can’t be dissing Bret Hart around here man. That dog won’t hunt monsignor.

  7. December 9, 2010 4:16 pm

    I thank you for your virtual fuck all gift.

    you’re welcome

  8. Riot Kitty permalink
    December 9, 2010 9:24 pm


    If you lived closer, I’d make homemade pasta for you.

    You have the kind of spare time needed to make homemade pasta? Must be nice.

  9. December 9, 2010 10:17 pm

    Wow! What a great gift! You’re AWESOME! Thank you so much! It’s PERFECT!

    I know what you like.

  10. December 10, 2010 6:59 am

    Aww, this is a really sweet and thoughtful post.

    You know, I could use a turntable. All my fave bands sell vinyl at their shows, ha-ha. ;)

    Thanks for the virtual gift. I have heard of some of these records you know, and even actual songs from them as well!

    I know what you need.

  11. December 10, 2010 10:36 pm

    I would gadly accept your gift with a tear in my eye. I would return the favor with a tuft of hair from Wendel Clark’s beard.

    Wendel’s hair. Already got some. I’ve eaten at his restaurant.


  12. December 12, 2010 2:22 pm

    Lol ! I dig the post addendum !

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