Lingering Thoughts on Lingerie

If I was going to start a male lingerie company, I’d call it This Is My Penis. Or quite possibly Yup, That’s My Cock.

I’m not quite sure what exactly male lingerie would be. I guess it would be seductive underpants and male breast support garments. Throw in some garters and some lace.

I went to a dollar store recently. I was looking for something that I wasn’t quite sure which aisle I would find it. I picked one end of the store and went up and down every aisle until I found it. Before I found it, I passed by the section with the women’s panties. I would rather go commando than wear undergarments purchased at a dollar store.

Undergarments are the one piece of clothing I will never skimp on. I regularly pay over twenty dollars for a single unit of underpants. Nothing too good for my boys.

There are three things I will never buy at a dollar store: anything that might touch my dick, anything that I might put in my mouth and anything that has the potential to spontaneously combust. I just don’t trust dollar store quality.

If I need a gift bag or some stickers, the dollar store is the place to be. If I need random decorations, the dollar store is the place to be. If I need a non-Frisbee brand flying disc, then the dollar store is the place to be. If I need something that I’d rather use once then throw away instead of cleaning, then the dollar store is the place to be.

I spotted a brand of soda pop at the dollar store. Beneath the shelf with the RC Cola was a shelf of cream soda cans with the Snow White brand name. Snow White also offers an orange soda flavour. I’m afraid to find out what’s in that stuff. From reading the can, I determined the stuff is made in Quebec. The same place where people have to be warned not to purchase black market cheese from door-to-door salesmen. Yeah, no. I ain’t putting that shit in my mouth.

I will say this about the dollar store: it’s the one place you can buy a shopping cart full of crap and have change left from a twenty.

And now for today’s Faggot of the Day.

How sad must a person be to try to spark a conversation with another person in line to pay at the dollar store?

There was this guy in front of me in line at the dollar store. He had a handful of batteries. He turned around and noticed I was carrying a basket full of dust masks.

“You’ve gotta lotta dust masks there,” he noted.

“I’ve gotta lotta dust,” was my reply.

In line at the dollar store is not the place to go to pick-up guys. Got that? Good.

So, battery guy, you are today’s faggot of the day.