Smother’s Day

This past Sunday was Mother’s Day. I’m sure many of you knew that already.

To celebrate that Hallmark holiday, I took my mother out for breakfast. We went to the ironically named Sunset Grill. (Ironic because it’s a breakfast place. It only serves breakfast foods. It closed well before sunset each and every day. It should be called the Sunrise Grill.)

We beat the rush that day. We were seated almost immediately upon arrival. When we left, there was a lineup out the door, well out the door.

Sure, it kinda sucks to be out and about by 8am on a Sunday morning. But I would certainly prefer to be up and about early on a Sunday morning than sleep in on that Sunday and then wait 45 minutes to be seated for a 30 minute meal.

Besides, I did manage to sleep in that day. I rolled outta bed at 6:45am. That’s an hour and a half after my alarm goes off five days a week.

And this brings me to today’s Faggot of the Day.

My alarm goes off around 5:15am each weekday morning. Lately, however, I’ve been waking up before that because something is making noise and waking me up. That something is a bird.

Chirping birds each morning wake me up a little before 5am each morning now. Screw animal rights. Shut these damn birds up right now!

That’s why today’s faggot of the day are the birds that chirp outside my bedroom window every morning.