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Toronto, Unplanned

June 23, 2011

Last night, I had plans to meet a friend for coffee/tea. The meeting place was at a Starbucks down in The Beaches. Not an actual beachfront Starbucks, just a neighbourhood in downtown Toronto’s eastside known as The Beaches. I think it is near the water though, but can you really call Lake Ontario water? Ain’t exactly clean.

It was a bit out of way for me, but I figured I could make it within a certain amount of time. That amount of time did not account for there being an accident on the Don Valley Parkway which closed down two lanes of traffic. The DVP is the only highway traveling southbound into downtown Toronto.

To get free of the miles and miles of parked cars on the freeway, I illegally changed lanes into the HOV (high occupancy vehicle or car pool) lane. Illegal for two reasons. I crossed the “do not cross” line and I was alone in my car. So what if that lane is only for special people. What, I’m not special enough? The lane was empty. All the other lanes were parking lots. Lesson to be learned here: car pool lanes are not encouraging people to car pool, they’re just taking lanes away from everybody else.

Funny thing. It was almost a year ago the last time I went downtown to meet somebody for drinks and the same thing happened. The DVP was turned into a parking lot because of an accident.

I rode the HOV lane into the 401 and detoured through Toronto’s fanciest neighbourhood, the Bridal Path. It’s a patch of rural homes on big lots in the middle of a bustling and busy city. The elite of the elite live there.

Eventually, I made it into The Beaches. Queen Street down there is two lanes each way. The right lane is often filled with parked cars and the left lane is slowed by street cars. The person who planned that out is the Faggot of the Day. When the street car stops to pick up or drop off a person, all traffic is stopped. Parked cars on the right, stopped street car on the left, a line-up of cars idling needlessly behind.

If the street car, which runs on tracks imbedded in the street was replaced with a bus, the traffic would run much smoother. The bus could pull over beside the intersection, where there are no cars parked, and the traffic in the left lane would be able to proceed unimpeded. Unfortunately, that makes sense. Toronto has had no logical urban planning.

Removing the street cars would be better for another reason. The overhead wires that power the street cars would also be removed. Thus goes the eye-sore of wires running overhead. Also, the tracks could be removed too. That would allow the road itself to be a lot smoother and safer a ride for either car or bicycle or pedestrian just trying to cross the street.

As for more important matters. At the Starbucks itself, I was confused by the bathrooms. After chugging down my grande Refresh tea, I had to go wee-wee (piss, take a leak, drain the snake, go number one, expel urine from my penis) but the bathroom doors confounded me. As is standard in public establishments, there were two bathrooms. I looked at the door on the right and saw a picture of a stick-woman. So I looked at the door on the left. Again, a picture of a stick-woman. I looked back at the right, but this time, I paid closer attention. Pictured was a stick-woman, a stick-person in a stick-wheel chair and a stick-man. I looked again at the door on the left. It too had three stick-people: man, woman and wheel chair. I guess they’re both wheel chair-accessible unisex bathrooms. I chose the one on the left.

I later found out that the Starbucks itself is not wheel chair-accessible. Every door into the building requires a step. There was no ramp and the doors didn’t have the stick-wheel chair button.

This is probably the one place in downtown Toronto that doesn’t have the washroom in the basement down a rickety staircase but there’s no ramp into the store. What’s the point of having wheel chair bathrooms if wheel chairs can’t get into the building? Hey, second Faggot of the Day, the person who designed this Starbucks.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob permalink
    June 23, 2011 1:40 pm

    Nice you made up for the lack of FOTD yesterday with TWO today!

    Sometimes faggots come in twos.

  2. June 23, 2011 2:14 pm

    Canada doesn’t have a version of the ADA? I’m speechless.

    american dental association? Yeah, we probably have a similar organization. certainly have lotsa dentists. But where did that come from dude?

  3. June 23, 2011 9:12 pm

    I’m with Bob, nice job getting TWO FotDs in there!

    I hate traffic and those ridiculous street cars cost San Francisco millions to replace. They used buses powered that way for a long time, but they’re gone now. Public transportation in that particular city sucks anyway, but those darned ol’ things were awful.

    Toronto’s last mayor, the “Hey, let’s expand the street car system” guy was from San Francisco.

  4. June 23, 2011 10:02 pm

    Just so you know, it’s the “Brldle” Path. Please spell my neighbourhood’s name right! Hahahaha, just kidding. I don’t live there… yet! ;)

    Planning on marrying money?

  5. June 23, 2011 10:12 pm

    But did you have the best time EVER? Thats what really matters. LOL

    I had an okay time.

  6. Riot Kitty permalink
    June 24, 2011 12:12 am

    I bet the same asshole designed them both, then sniggered.

    Probably not. Street cars have been around a lot longer than the Starbucks. But you never know…

  7. June 24, 2011 3:36 am

    “What’s the point of having wheel chair bathrooms if wheel chairs can’t get into the building?”

    ROFLMAO!! Oh that’s so funny! :D

    btw, the ADA is “Americans with Disabilities Act.” That’s the law that forces business and public building to have access for the disabled, and to put Braille on drive-up ATMs.

    too many acronyms

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