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A Penis is a Terrible Thing to Waste

June 30, 2011

I don’t really know if I’m breaking confidences here, but I’m gonna write about something that was told to me. Chances are, anybody reading this won’t know anybody involved.

Remember how I had recently blogged about how I was helping somebody pick up stuff to be used at a bachelorette party? Here is a series of events which are leading up to that bachelorette party. (The only reason I’m privy to this information is that I’ve become a place for one woman involved to rant and bitch to in regards to this party.)

  1. The bride-to-be is marrying a guy from another country. The wedding will be in that other country. She will be moving to that other country permanently. This party will not just be her last hurrah as a single person, but her last hurrah as a Canadian. So this party has got to be a big shindig.
  2. The party itself a series of things like eating out and shopping and dancing and crazy stuff so best to have a central base of operations, like a hotel room. So might as well throw the party in a town designed for such parties. A large hotel suite was booked.
  3. When told about the party, the groom forbade the party. The bride told her maid-of-honour to cancel the party. That mean the MOH canceled the hotel reservation. Within an hour, the mother of the bride talked to the bride and convinced her to have the party anyway. The MOH rebooked the hotel.
  4. So, the party is on for this weekend but now the groom is not returning calls to the bride. He’s upset that this party is happening. At this point, if they cancel the hotel reservation, a cancellation fee will be charged.

I’m afraid to think of what might happen at this party. The bride, if she doesn’t talk to her soon-to-be husband, will probably be in a sad mood and therefore, in no mood to celebrate anything. Her friends, cousins and stuff will all feel like they’ve wasted a weekend (and some hard-earned cash) on a party for a person who doesn’t feel up to partying.

But what’s most important is that I’ve been put off by having to look at penis things because of this party. So, if this party doesn’t go off well, I’m going to be raining hell down upon everybody involved.

And now for today’s Faggot of the Day.

I’m not putting much effort into this feature today. I can’t be bothered to put any thought in it today. So instead, I’m just going to get insulting and rude.

Today’s faggot of the day, is… you, the reader. You are awarded the faggot of the day. No particular reason.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. June 30, 2011 9:07 am

    Wow, ME?! Really?! The FotD Award?! This is…this is such an HONOR, a PRIVILEGE! Thank you! Thankewthankewthanew!

    …or something.

    Ah, pre-wedding drama. What sort of groom thinks he’s got the right to “forbid” a bachelorette party for his fiancée? Seriously. And it’s not like he shouldn’t cut a wide berth, knowing how much pre-wedding stress there is on the bride-to-be anyway. I say he’s a jerk, and selfish. Then again, I don’t now him so I can’t really say.

    Interesting story. I’d be put off by the penile implement examination too.

    I never met the guy either, so what do I know?

  2. June 30, 2011 10:46 am

    Nice how you made that entire ordeal all about you. What’s the groom’s problem? He obviously has trust issues… bride beware.

    I have a million faggot of the day ideas. Sadly, about 70% of people that I meet piss me off. I haven’t figured out if I’ve become grumpy or if people have just generally become idiotic.

    it is my blog, only makes sense I should make it about me

  3. June 30, 2011 12:23 pm

    My lifetime’s ambition has been achieved! Now I have been awarded Faggot of the Day, all my dreams are fulfilled. I have no more purpose in life. I see no reason to go on living.

    That sounds like the saddest party in the world. If I were that woman I would cancel the wedding instead of the party and celebrate my freedom from such an oppressive man.

    bee tea dub, the country she’s moving too, it’s in the middle east, not exactly a place known for women having freedom

  4. June 30, 2011 6:16 pm

    i’m sure i deserved it… if not today? perhaps for a prior infraction…

    sure, why not

  5. Riot Kitty permalink
    June 30, 2011 8:53 pm

    Yeah, that was insulting and rude. And I don’t deserve it, because 1) I did not have a bachelorette party, and 2) I have never wanted a penis party favor.

    deserve it or not, you now have it

  6. July 1, 2011 2:47 am

    What Spark said! Goodness, I thought the groom’s country might be someplace like you mention – “forbidding” a bachelorette party? The poor bride here is going to have her hands full, both before and after the wedding, if there is still one happening.

    Are you part of the wedding party or will you be a guest?

    Yeah, I’m flying off to some God-forsaken land to see two people get married. Sure, that’ll happen.

  7. July 1, 2011 10:57 am

    I’ve been called worse.

    The groom should be the faggot of the day. Seriously what a candy ass.

    that would be too easy

  8. July 7, 2011 4:29 pm

    From my experience, if the groom is forbidding stuff before the wedding, he’ll be forbidding a lot of stuff after the wedding. Most bachelorette parties are just silly fun and if they aren’t held the night before the wedding, who gives a crap. The groom should be the Faggot of the Day.

    seems like the general consensus around here

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