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Weekend Recap: Smurf You!

August 15, 2011

I finally caught The Smurfs movie. The premise is unlike the old cartoon show which I saw plenty of when I was a child. Gargamel is chasing the Smurfs not to turn them into gold, but to steal their essence (something similar to Smurf DNA) because it gives his magic more power. Early in the film, Gargamel and Azriel chase six Smurfs (Papa, Smurfette, Brainy, Gutsy, Clumsy and Grouchy) into a magical portal. The portal takes them to Manhattan in the present day.

In Manhattan, the Smurfs meet up with Patrick something and his pregnant wife. Patrick is a marketing guy for a snooty cosmetics baroness. Obviously, through a series of manic adventures caused by mishaps, the Smurfs return to Smurf Village, Patrick succeeds in business and learns how to be a good father and everybody is happy except for Gargamel.

My biggest complaint with this film is that the word “smurf” in simply not used enough. There were whole sentences spoken by Smurfs that didn’t include the word “smurf.” Every Smurf sentence should be completely foreign to human ears.

Here are some other issues I had with this movie. Grouchy wasn’t grouchy enough. If Gargamel can create Smurfs (he created Smurfette), why doesn’t he just create more Smurfs to steal their essence? It could be easier than chasing the Smurfs. Patrick’s boss is going to fire him because she will undoubtedly ask him to recreate the thing he did to save his job the first time, but that thing required Smurf magic which he will no longer have access to.

Otherwise, it was an okay movie. I’ve seen a lot worse films than this one.

The rest of my weekend was spent either working, eating or relaxing. Oh, and I got a haircut.

Oh yes, a very exciting weekend indeed.

At the barbershop, I skimmed an article in a back issue of Macleans about Jack Layton. This article was written after his success in the last election but before his illness-imposed temporary retirement.

Jack Layton is an incredible politician. I’ve never agreed with his politics. He’s a lefty, I’m a righty. But I respect him as a politician as much or more than any other politico in the Canadian scene. He’s done a very good job of convincing Canadians he truly believes the bullshit he’s spewing. Let’s be honest here folks. Every politician spews an endless stream of bullshit, Jack is just better at it.

In the past election, the NDP (the party led by Jack) won more seats in Parliament than it ever had before. The party didn’t win those seats on the merits of the individual party members running for those seats. Jack won those seats for them. He ran the most impressive campaign I’ve ever seen. Now, Jack is sick. Too sick to work. He’s stepped down from the leadership of the party. When last seen, he looked bad. Not sure what he has, but it’s gotta be bad. He doesn’t look good.

I feel so bad for him. Finally, for the first time, Jack is sitting at the grown-ups table in Ottawa, legitimately. He earned it the right way. And now he can’t enjoy it.

Jack is the party. Now he’s gone. What is the party going to do?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2011 10:28 am

    Wow, you saw The Smurfs and almost enjoyed it? You might be the first person I’ve seen admit to not hating it. The trailer looked terrible, I couldn’t imagine the movie being any good. And after all your Smurfy blogging they didn’t even say “Smurf” enough! Well, I bet the guy who came up with these things is laughing all the way to the bank for the last –what? 30 years? Good for him!

    I did go into it with the lowest of expectations. I’m talking Smurf limbo stick low. At carnaval time. And that’s as low as limbo sticks go.

  2. August 15, 2011 1:09 pm

    Yeah, it sure sucks for Jack Layton. It also sucks for people in those areas where they voted for some young nobody who has no political experience as their local representative because that translated into a vote for Layton. Now they’re stuck with the stupid representatives and no Layton to show for it. (I was not one of those people.)

    Well, you do happen to vote in a region that has some more experienced NDPers should you choose to vote orange. But there a lot of places in Quebec that have never been orange before that went orange this past election.

  3. Riot Kitty permalink
    August 15, 2011 5:01 pm

    The essence of Smurf DNA! That’s the answer to everything. Even politics ;)

    Wait till you see what Smurf essence can do for your wrinkles, grey hair, saggy tits and squishy butt.

  4. August 15, 2011 6:19 pm

    Maybe the reason why Jack is so charismatic is that he doesn’t spew bullshit but a platform in which he truly believes.

    I like Jack a lot too, and wish him the best. Oh shite, is this the third post in a row in which I’ve kind of agreed with you????

    Just because he believes it, doesn’t mean it’s not bullshit. Lots of people believe in bullshit.

  5. August 16, 2011 4:38 am

    Smurf you too!

    Would you believe, I’ve never seen a Smurf show? Cartoon, movie, whatever. I did see the cereal boxes with them on it years ago, but that’s it. I think I was past the cut-off for Smurfing. I like the sound of their essence though. Is it like the essence from the Dark Crystal? That stuff was amazing!

  6. August 17, 2011 12:38 pm

    I’ve seen the Smurfs cartoon numerous times, but never once considered why Gargamel never just created more smurfs for his gold. Very interesting indeed.

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