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Weekend Recap: Spider Pussy

October 3, 2011

The Major League Baseball playoffs have started. I watched as much of the various games as I could. Most of the games so far have been blowouts. That doesn’t make for the most interesting television. I ended up flipping over to my Playstation 3 and played my new video game, Resistance 3.

The game is pretty simple, Shoot, shoot and shoot some more. When I first loaded the game, I was presented with an option to download an update for the game. I didn’t bother. I just wanted to play the damned game. Besides, I never know what these updates are really for. If they’re just for the online gaming experience, I don’t care. I don’t want to play online. Well, it turns out the single player mode of the game is a bit buggy.

I mean BUGgy.

On level 18 or something or other, I have to fight this giant spider thing. Not the first giant spider thing I’ve had to face in this game so I know how to kill it. Always shoot at the red spots on the spider. At first, there are two red spots on its head. So I stood in front of it but with some distance and fired a long-range accurate weapon at the two red spots. Eventually, the red spots closed up as I defeated the first stage of this monster. That’s when two red spots appeared on the side of abdomen. Again, I kept my distance and fired at the second two red spots. Upon defeating the second stage of red spots, a fifth and final red spot appears underneath the abdomen, hanging down like a floppy patch of flesh. Sort of mix between a humongous penis and a vaginal lip run amok. I shot at the red spot. Then I shot some more. I fired every single round of ammunition I had into this thing and it wouldn’t go down.

After several valiant efforts where I eventually took to swinging a sledgehammer because I had run out of ammo, all of which failed. I gave up and took a break. During the break, I checked online for some tricks and hints to killing this giant spider thing. I found a video of somebody playing this level. This person made it look really easy. Shot the first two red spots, then next two. Then when the fifth spot emerged, the player shot that a few times and the spider collapsed into a building and died.

I tried again later, but before I tried, I downloaded that update. I guess the update included a fix for the bug that made the spider invincible. I tried once more and that spider thing went down. After only a couple of rounds into the fifth red spot, the spider collapsed into a nearby building and a huge billboard fell onto the spider and squished it.

Basically that was my weekend. I did a bit of that Starry Starry Night puzzle. Maybe I’m half done, maybe half. The weather sucked all weekend. I stayed in for the most part, you know, when I wasn’t working. It was good video game and television watching weather. Next weekend is supposed to be much better.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob permalink
    October 3, 2011 9:52 am

    Whenever my game systems wants me to update, I let it update. I can wait.

    But the monsters gotta die. And they gotta die right NOW!

  2. October 3, 2011 10:06 am

    My kids are starting to hate the enforced downloading that is going on – they take it as a sign of sloppy production.

    Like an impassable level caused by an invincible boss. Yup, that’s sloppy production and poor play-testing.

  3. October 3, 2011 2:47 pm

    It’s sad that game developers can’t make a game good enough to play straight off the shelf.

  4. Riot Kitty permalink
    October 3, 2011 7:22 pm

    Weather sucks here too. Mr. RK did get through all of Portal 2 while I was gone, but I don’t think there were spiders.

  5. October 4, 2011 2:04 am

    My kids hate the update stuff too. It seems like it takes forever, and since it’s a 2 stage affair (download, then install) it’s hard to stay patient when you’re not even 10.

    However, I am all for the update that takes away the invincibility from any kind of bug/spider thing. They’re horrible enough when they’re not invincible.

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