Skip to content

Train Wreck TV

October 6, 2011

There wasn’t much on television last night. I spent a lot of time just flipping up and down the dial.

First show I came across was about unexpected pregnancies. That’s maybe a bit vague for a description of the show. To be more specific, it was more like “I’m going into labour??? I didn’t even know I was pregnant.”

So, there was this one woman. Big fat chick. Ate lots of chalk. (That’s another show all together right there.) Wakes up in the middle of the night with severe abdominal pain. Goes to the hospital and doctor tells her “You’re going into labour.”

The next woman was engaged to be married. She exercised a lot and dieted a lot to look great for her wedding. She even dropped ten pounds. Apparently got as low as one hundred six pounds. Her wedding dress had to be taken in to fit her. At the wedding, she drank a bit. On her honeymoon, she drank some more. When she got back from the honeymoon she went to the doctor and doctor said “You’re going into labour.” She wasn’t even showing. Baby was born at like four pounds. The baby was a little light, but otherwise, it’s fine.

I couldn’t take anymore of that so I changed the channel and found one of those repo shows. You know those shows, the ones where a camera crew follows around a repo man while he’s repossessing cars and stuff.

Those shows are always nuts. The repo man starts towing the car when the deadbeat owner comes running out screaming “Hey you! Get yer dang hands off my dang car!”

But this show was a bit different. Starts out with the guy beginning to tow away a car. The deadbeat woman comes running out. The conversation between the deadbeat and the repo man went something like this.

“Wha’ you doin’ wit my car, my baby!”

“I’m repossessing the car, ma’am.”

“You can’t do dat!”

“Ma’am, calm down. I am going to present with an opportunity to own the car, out right.”


“If you can correctly answer three out of five trivia questions, you’ll win the ownership to this car…”

You know when you watch these repo shows, you can’t help wonder just how stupid some of these people are. Well, this show, Repo Games, puts that minimal intellect to the test. If the deadbeat can flex them brain muscles just enough, they get to keep their car.

Here was the first question the repo man asked the deadbeat. “Name all six types of pieces in a chess game set.”

“The king, the queen, the bishop, the knight, the board and the son.”

Oooh, so close.

That was her best answer. She got the next two wrong as well and lost the car. But all the while, she had this friend in the background cheering her on. “Come on! You can do it!”

“What is the name of the star closest to the Earth?”

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Dat’s all I ‘member.”

I crap on Canadian television a lot and rightly so, it’s not entertaining. But at least Canadian television doesn’t present a segment of the population that is probably too stupid to tie their shoes. The people on these shows I saw last night were Americans. And if there are any Americans reading this blog, you have to do something about your countrymen. They’re making you look bad. I mean really bad. Consider the following: Hank Williams Jr. likening President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler was not the worst thing an American did on television this week.

Americans, you have to rise up against this idiocy that has spread throughout your country. You have to eliminate it. These stupid people are making you look really bad. To have people like that sharing the same rights as you just doesn’t seem fair. Doesn’t seem fair to you, the literate populace of America.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. October 6, 2011 7:40 am

    my spawn introduced me to the “I didn’t know i was pregnant” bit. i would have named it “Toilet Babies”…

    How did they introduce you to the bit? Did you not know about your own?

    • October 7, 2011 7:51 am

      no. not like that. i was sober 20 years ago whilst delivering the spawn…

  2. October 6, 2011 8:44 am

    The same can be said about UK television – no one wants to see clever people on TV (unless they are Stephen Fry), just 14 year olds with 3 kids…

    Not enough Stephen Fry here in Canada and the US. Closest we get is Hugh Laurie doing a bad American accent playing a prick.

  3. Bob permalink
    October 6, 2011 12:57 pm

    I like that she included “the board” in her answer. You might actually be able to convince them that it was a valid answer. Too bad about the child.

    I am confused with how the 1st show worked. Do they have cameras in the hospital and wait for stupid women to come in and find out that they are pregnant?

    Interviews afterwards with the principle parties combined with actor portrayals of the key incidents.

  4. Riot Kitty permalink
    October 6, 2011 1:52 pm

    Unfortunately, it’s not entirely a stereotype. In London, the biggest assholes were the people from Spain, but the Americans were a very close second.

    Just to clarify, I wasn’t calling Americans assholes. I was saying that there are some really dumb Americans roaming the streets freely and they’re making the normal Americans look bad.

  5. October 6, 2011 10:16 pm

    I knew a girl who thought she might be preggers, gyno told her no, she continued on with her life and BAM baby pops out!

    wow, bad doctor

  6. October 7, 2011 11:42 am

    Repo Games is shot a lot in Dallas. For some reason my newfound home has become the mecca of reality TV. Sigh..

  7. October 7, 2011 5:45 pm

    When I had cable I couldn’t stop watching “I didn’t know I was pregnant”. I don’t know what the hell is so addictive about that show. It’s the crack of cable.

  8. October 10, 2011 11:46 pm

    I’ve seen that “didn’t know I was pregnant” show a few times when I had cable! I still don’t get it. How could you not know there is another human being inside you?!

    I’ve never seen the repo shows, but a few years ago we stumbled across one called “Street Smarts” or something similar. The people just made me do facepalms the whole time. “How can they be so dumb and still functioning in society?” Yes, they make us look bad. That was the goal!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: