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Here’s Vinnie!

November 7, 2011

Last night, as I went to bed, I threw on this DVD that I’ve been meaning to watch. As per my us’, I can’t fall asleep without some audio dancing in my ears and some video twinkling over my closed eye lids. It truly is a curse.

Last night, I didn’t get a great sleep. I felt as though I was continuously drifting in and out of sleep.

The DVD I was watching was some collection of wrestling stuff. Not really whole bouts, more like highlights of weird and silly and controversial stories and characters through the history of the WWF/WWE.

What I’m about to describe might not have actually happened. It might have just been a dream based on my brain being bombarded with wrestling.

I saw Vince McMahon interviewing “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Okay, that’s very believable. I’m sure that did happen in the mid 1980s. Wrestlers have to do these little interview segments called promos in order to push the story and characters forward, to hype and sell an upcoming match. But the interview was happening at a desk setup as though it was the Tonight Show or something. Did Vince McMahon get to do one of those guest host spots for Carson? And the interview itself was all a series of questions about some incident where Piper shaved a midget’s head. (Or little person, but I’m sure that the word I heard or dreamed hearing was midget.)

This morning I woke up and the image of Vince McMahon behind a desk interviewing Piper was stuck in my head. The entire time I was in the shower, all I could think about was “Why would the WWF have done that?” Then it occurred to me. That Tonight Show method of interview makes more sense to me than many other promo styles the WWF/WWE has employed over the years. I remember various wrestlers and characters having these little sets made up which reinforced their individual characters and they’d use these sets to interview other wrestlers and characters. Jack “the Snake” Roberts had a cave full of snake stuff. Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake had a barbershop. Paul Bearer had a funeral home. Other times, wrestlers wouldn’t need to be interviewed. They would just talk to the camera whilst standing in front of a generic backdrop. (If you ever want to see some hilarious stuff, dig up the Ultimate Warrior’s promos. “I have summoned the power of the warriors and I am flying a plane with no pilot. The engines are failing and I will crash the plane into the depths of your soul.” That’s not an exact quote, but it’s a pretty good paraphrasing of one of his promos before his big Wrestlemania VI match against Hulk Hogan.)

Wrestling is an incredibly silly form of entertainment. You really can’t put anything past a wrestling promotion. They’ll try anything once. Is it possible they did a late night talk show format? Sure, why not? But they really should think about bringing it back and making it a regular feature. Sure as hell makes more sense than actually letting Jay Leno wrestle. And that I know was not a dream. He did wrestle. It was in the WCW. Pretty sure it had something to do with the Dennis Rodman and Karl Malone storyline. Like I said, silly.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. November 7, 2011 1:33 pm

    Wow, basketball players wrestle too? Does everyone get in on this act?

    I think actors should wrestle for the part when they audition. That would put them in the same arena with the wrestlers who want to act later, like Jesse Ventura and Roddy Piper and Dwayne Johnson.

    And Hulk Hogan and John Cena and Triple H and Ted DiBiase Jr. and Randy Orton and Big Show and shit, they’re all acting now.

  2. November 7, 2011 3:52 pm

    Seems as though Charlie Sheen has been chanelling the Ultimate Warrior.

    Charlie’s got nothing on the Warrior.

  3. November 7, 2011 4:00 pm

    Eric Bischoff, who is somehow connected to Hulk Hogan and wrestling, lives in Cody and he comes to the Spaghetti Western pretty frequently. He has a Caesar salad, no dressing and a shit ton of anchovies. He’s very quiet and polite and tips very well. Hulk Hogan was in town last summer for Mr. Bischoff’s daughter’s wedding and I guess it was a big deal. I didn’t get to see him.

    Eric Bischoff is a non-wrestling character and producer in the business. He was the guy who hired Hulk Hogan in the WCW after Hogan was the biggest star in the WWF.

  4. November 7, 2011 8:57 pm

    Jake the Snake was awesome! I remember him from when I used to watch wrestling with my dad as a kid. I remember him, Hulk Hogan, and Andre the Giant. And there were those two twin dudes who were creepy… Bushwackers, I think. All very randomly odd characters.

    Butch and Luke weren’t twins, just brothers.

  5. November 7, 2011 10:22 pm

    Believe it or not, I was a big closet WWF fan as a kid. I would not admit to liking it, but when it came on, I would yell “Dad! Your show is on!” and if he didn’t come watch it, I would watch it using the excuse that I was doing so to keep him up on all of the ongoings.

    Anyway, there was a hairstylist at the mall in Stratford that looked like Jake the Snake and my dad and I would point him out all the time. It was an amazing doppelganger.

    That whole Vince McMahon talk show is hilarious.

    Did the hairstylist have a hairwasher named Damien?

  6. November 8, 2011 3:31 am

    Have you considered maybe something like a nature video to sleep to? I found some at the library last year that had beautiful scenes – even some from Canada! – and really nice soothing music.

    Might give you better dreams than the WWF or WCW or whatever the heck it’s called now.

    Just sayin’!

    Entertainment helps me sleep.

  7. November 8, 2011 3:34 am

    Just so you know, and I know you’ll delete this one without it posting on your blog – the card was cute, it had monkeys on it because I know you like monkeys.

    So, happy birthday anyway, you punk for not accepting your ecard! I guess I still love you anyway. Maybe I’ll just hug you to get even. *hughughug* There!

    I hope it was happy. :)

    I don’t open stuff like that.

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