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Get Your Hands Off My Balls!

November 16, 2011

The world is going to Hell. Not regular fire and brimstone Hell, but everybody wearing elbow pads and helmets Hell.

A school in Toronto has banned children playing with balls.

I could understand if a school was trying to discourage children from playing with their balls on school property. Math class is not the time or place to masterbate. But those are not the balls the school is trying to ban. Earl Beatty Junior and Senior Public School is banning hard balls like baseballs and soccer balls and tennis balls. The only balls allowed in the school will be sponge or Nerf balls.

This ban includes tennis balls. Do you understand how much fun can be had by children at recess with a single tennis ball?

Take a group of boys and girls, give them thirty minutes of recess and a single tennis ball. I guarantee you that group of boys and girls will have fun for the full thirty minutes and get a bit of cardio too. Whether they play hand ball, four square, red ass or catch for crying out loud, at least the children are running around having fun.

Only in Toronto can something as fucked up as this take place.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob permalink
    November 16, 2011 8:10 am

    Public or Catholic?


  2. The Ed Buzz permalink
    November 16, 2011 8:27 am

    Not smart – If they are playing ‘butts up” – a game designed to hit a kid with the ball who stands up against a wall, teach them another game and let them have the ball. You are right. Taking it away does nothing and doesn’t work. Kids will find something else less safe to play with if you take aways the relatively safe tennis ball. – like hats – teach them to take them off as they enter the room – Don’t ban them

    Butts up sounds a bit like red ass.

  3. November 16, 2011 8:30 am

    Only in Toronto can something as fucked up as this take place.

    Oh, you’d be surprised how many places can get that f*cked up. It happens in places like California, where they’ve banned toys from the McDonald’s Happy Meal for kids, and have banned soft drinks because of the sugar content. It all depends on who’s in charge.

    I agree with you whole-heartedly, but don’t be fooled into believing it’s only Toronto, bud.

    I keep forgetting. Toronto is just San Francisco with snow and a hockey team.

  4. November 16, 2011 12:11 pm

    Did the say why? I’m assuming the “hard balls” are more “dangerous” but I obviously don’t agree! This is bonkers!

    Some parent got hit in the head with a soccer ball.

  5. November 16, 2011 12:11 pm

    That’s idiotic. The harm done by ball-related-injuries vs. the harm done by inadequate exercise… obviously the greatest risk to kids’ health is inactivity. Why don’t we just put them in a cage and make them sit in rows with their hands on their heads for recess?

    Why not just ban recess? Oh right. Teachers need break time.

  6. November 16, 2011 1:07 pm

    What the hell? Why? Has their been a recent lawsuit where some precious little snowflake lost a tooth due to a baseball?

    a parent got hit in the head with a soccer ball

  7. Riot Kitty permalink
    November 16, 2011 8:12 pm

    No, I can see that happening in my home state (California.) Seriously though, wtf?

    Double you tea eff is correct.

  8. November 16, 2011 8:35 pm

    I remember playing with tennis balls during recess often as a kid… they really are an endless supply of fun. I assume that this particular school had many hard ball-related injuries, so if that’s the case, I can understand the reasoning behind the ban. It’s better to prevent than to treat.

    I disagree. Children need to know how to respond appropriately to pain. They need to know why it’s wrong to hit people with balls by knowing what it feels like to be hit with balls.

  9. November 16, 2011 9:00 pm

    What everyone who is dismayed about this story is missing is that there was a point to the banning. This school has a really small playground, and there have been several ball-related injuries. One adult got a freakin’ concussion! Maybe it’s necessary for safety.

    One parents claims to have suffered a concussion. Did the school administration question her claims? Did she really have a concussion? Was the concussion actually caused by the soccer ball? Soccer balls often make contact with human heads. And how hard can a child kick a soccer balll?

  10. November 17, 2011 4:32 am

    That’s just so sad. Pretty soon they’ll try to pass a law that kids must be bubble-wrapped and kept encased in glass boxes to make sure nothing happens to them, including living their lives and just being kids.

    Soon every child will be a bubble boy.

  11. November 17, 2011 5:31 am

    Ridiculous! Sponge balls are just rubbish. We have similar things in schools here, where kids don’t get to play with real sports stuff because someone somewhere was dumb enough to get hit by something. Walked into a javelin? That is Darwin at work, IMO!

    Thin the heard dammit. Let the idiots die!

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