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Canucks Gone Wild

December 14, 2011

According to the American television I watch so often, I am led to belive that Canadians are a quiet, peaceful, clean, naive people.

I don’t believe that to be true in all cases. Here are a couple of situations from this past weekend to make Canadians seem like a bunch of rowdy loogans. And no, I’m not just talking about N********* still having a career. I’m talking about people behaving badly in public.

Situation number 1, sex in public. An amorous couple decided to get freaky and nasty in that order on a subway station platform. The Spadina station along the University line here in Toronto to be specific. This was on Sunday at two in the afternoon. In started on the subway itself but moved to the platform after a subway passenger hit the emergency brake to stop the train. If there is one good thing we can take away from this story it is this: while on the subway, the man did go down on his female partner. Foreplay was not lost on this man, decency sure, that was long gone, but at least he gave his partner a good time.

Situation number 2, motel destroyed. Friday night, following a school dance, two hundred or so students from the dance rented thirty five rooms at a Niagara Falls motel. Twenty two of those rooms were destroyed. I’m not talking sex fluids left on the ceiling destroyed, I’m talking holes in the walls large enough for entitled, self-righteous teenagers to travel through. I have been unable to find details as to whether or not these children gave their parents credit card numbers for incidentals. I do know that the children signed the rental contracts, not their parents. It’s a shame that this motel is now destroyed and the motel owners are screwed because they didn’t follow procedures that major hotel chains strictly adhere to.

So, next time somebody says that Canadians are boring, you can tell them to go fuck themselves, because we trash motels and fuck on the subway!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. December 14, 2011 8:29 am

    Well! Those subway people certainly would qualify as “interesting” anywhere, I’d think. The kids? Well, that’s what happens when you don’t follow protocols. They’re protocols for a reason.

    Also, that’s what kids do when parents don’t beat them enough. Children will grow up to be much better adults if parents administer a few fatal beatings.

    • December 14, 2011 9:52 am

      It takes a village, and kids have no chance regardless of how much they get beaten.

      a village of beaters

  2. Bob permalink
    December 14, 2011 11:01 am

    What bothered me about the motel thing is that when they called the cops about the incident, I heard the cops didn’t do anything, they said it was a private matter.

    sounds like springfield pd to me

  3. December 14, 2011 11:38 am

    And you say “Screw you – we’ve got oil sand!” to climate change!

    I say that a lot. I loves me some oil sands.

  4. December 14, 2011 10:56 pm

    Situation #3 – Someone called someone else a piece of shit in the House of Parliament today. That was pretty eff-ing awesome and VERY un-boring.

    Would you have had the same reaction if the statement was said by somebody on the other side of the legislature?

    And a giant ARGH to you tar sands people. By killing Kyoto and using the tar sands, we are making everything way worse. Extracting oil from tar sands produce TWO TO FOUR TIMES as many GHGs as conventional oil, so if we’re using them, we need a BETTER GHG reduction plan. Let’s not even get into the effects that the extraction process has on soil and water, and the fact that people living near them have higher cancer rates than the rest of the population. Of course, it’s never the oil executives, or the Prime Ministers or Peter Kent who live near these things, is it?

    I had to run five miles yesterday to deal with my Kyoto-induced frustrations.

    Thank goodness for Rick Mercer.

    Rick Mercer, I’ve had poops more entertaining than Rick Mercer.

  5. Riot Kitty permalink
    December 14, 2011 11:32 pm

    Isn’t it a bit cold to fuck on the subway this time of year?

    Isn’t fucking a great way to keep warm this time of year?

  6. December 16, 2011 12:41 am

    Nothing like keeping up with the Joneses! LOL

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