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Tables, Ladders, Chairs and Handcuffs

December 20, 2011

It would be a safe bet that nobody reading this has seen the latest WWE pay-pew-view. Well folks, this is another of my posts about professional wrestling. (This is where you all tune out and I’m okay with that.)

For the most part, this was a pretty good pay-per-view. Some good matches. A nice way to end the year. But I’ve got problems; two problems with this past Sunday night.

The World Heavyweight Championship match was too short. Half of the match was just the Big Show pacing around the ring chucking chairs into the ring. It was fun to watch and a good way to start a “chairs” match. The problem being the very little match that took place after the massive chair-throw-in. I understand that Mark Henry is injured and probably limited to what he can do in the ring. It just feels disrespectful to the title of World Heavyweight Champion to have the belt change hands after such a lackluster match.

My other complaint is with the WWE Championship match. The match as a whole was amazing. For a triple threat match, four different guys climbed the ladder for the belt. Who saw that coming? What would have happened if Ricardo Rodriguez seized the belt? Well, he didn’t. Instead he fell off the ladder into a pair of well-placed tables to cushion the blow. But let me tell you, this Ricardo guy makes a good splatter on the floor.

Now onto my complaint. It’s a minor detail. I wonder if anybody else picked up on it. (Maybe I should check the ‘net to see if anybody did pick up on it.) But I saw it right away.

Early in the match, CM Punk is handcuffed by Ricardo to a ladder. To get free, CM Punk breaks the ladder and slides off the closed cuff from the ladder. Never once did I notice CM Punk find the key and unlock the cuffs. If he did find the key, he probably would have unlocked the cuff that was around his wrist, and not the other cuff. He just wrestled the rest of the match with one hand in a cuff and the matching cuff dangling from his wrist, still closed.

Later in the match, the Miz grabs the closed cuff and locks it around a part of the ring’s turnbuckle system. How did the Miz get the cuff open? How did he attach a locked handcuff around a closed-end pipe?

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. December 20, 2011 12:07 pm

    Wow, you spotted WWE bloopers! Great eye! Nicely done. I don’t watch wrestling myself, but always seem to enjoy your recaps of them. You’re much more engaging than they are. You should write a column for them online and get them to pay you big bucks.

    A wrestling fansite I follow offered me a writing spot but I just don’t know if I can regularly contribute anything of value. If I can’t do it right, I don’t wanna do it at all.

  2. December 20, 2011 8:32 pm

    I’d watch a WWE match…but only for free. I guess that rules me out for a PPV.

  3. Riot Kitty permalink
    December 21, 2011 1:17 am

    And your headline made me think this would be sicker…

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