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Back on the Horse and other Musings

January 5, 2012

Back on the Horse

Last night I went to the gym. I haven’t been there in a couple of weeks. Yes, I know. Bad WIGSF, bad WIGSF.

My trainer, the Spitfire, she’s on vacation right now, so I just went in there to do some stuff on my own. When I got there, the other trainer saw me.

“Hey WIGSF.”


“You here to work out?”


“You know the Spitfire’s not here today, right?”

“Yup. I’m just gonna do some stuff on my own, if that’s okay?”

“Oh yeah yeah yeah. Go go go. Work out now.”

This guy is always telling me to come in more often, even when I don’t have a session with the Spitfire, just to come in and do a little cardio. Then on the few occasions I do come in, he’s all confused as to why I’m there.

I did some random exercises. I figured I worked out all the major muscle groups and a couple of the non-major. I do know that a hamstring is kinda sore right now. I was doing this lunge exercise. Instead of standing on the floor or doing walking lunges, I had the back foot on a low bench and just did lunges up and down. Those always hurt. The pain is always worse twenty four hours later. So far, it’s been about fourteen hours. I’m waiting for the big pain to come.

Impulse Shopping

Yesterday, I didn’t plan on going to the gym. I just sorta said to myself “Fuck it, I’m going to the gym.” Of course, not having planned to go to the gym, my shoes and shorts and stuff were all at home.

The gym I go to is across the street from this big stupid outlet mall. Being an outlet mall and being the week or so after Christmas, everything is on sale. So I went to the Nike outlet and bought a new pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Cheap stuff.

Instead of getting shoes there, I went to this other store in the mall that honours a loyalty rewards card I carry. Running shoes and cross-training shoes and whatever are all the same, whether I go with Nike, Adidas or generic shoe brand. I want a vacation and if I can pay for it with loyalty program points, I will. So I went to the shoe store that honours that program.

This store had a decent selection I guess. What do I know about shoes though? I just wanted a pair I could wear at the gym. I settled on a pair of Pumas (what’s German for “subdued yeah”) and they were on sale for something like twenty percent off. Whatever.

The Need for Licensed Procreation

But this is why I hate that outlet mall. It’s not so much the stores fault, it’s the customers. The customers in this mall suck. Don’t know why. Other malls don’t have this problem.

In the store, there’s only one cash register open. It’s not busy enough to open a second till. There’s one person paying, then me waiting, then one behind me. If the person paying wouldn’t take so damn long, the line would have moved. Instead, she dilly-dallied trying to figure out how much the shoes she was buying were going to cost. That’s what price tags are for. Upon learning the price, she and the person she was with had to debate the merits of paying that much for a pair of shoes.

I don’t know the whole situation. Maybe the price tag was missing. Who knows?

The person behind me, that’s who was really pissing me off. And that’s the person that makes this mall awful to visit. Here’s the description. The person was a mother. She was pushing a baby carriage. Not a baby carriage for a baby who can’t walk, but more a toddler carriage. (Side note: if your child can walk and talk without constantly falling over, throw the carriage in the attic or the garbage. It’s no longer needed. Don’t bring it out in a crowded shopping mall because it just gets in the way of everybody and everything.) The mother had two children with her. A daughter, obviously the younger of the two and a son. The daughter was standing up, walking and talking and touching everything in the store. “Oh look at this, look at that. Oh, this feels funny. Feel this!” The son, too old to be in a carriage, sitting in the carriage. Not sitting all the way back in the carriage, but sitting just on the edge of it and holding his legs up in the air so his feet are so far out that the mother can’t turn the carriage around the aisles in the shoe store.

The children are being loud and unruly. The daughter is touching everything in the impulse purchase section. The son is kicking his feet into the air and hitting things in the impulse purchase section.

How does the mother treat her two unruly children? Here’s how. “Daughter, want me to buy you this piggy bank? Son, stop put your feet down, I can’t make this turn into the aisle.” She’s trying. She’s just doing a miserable job.

Now, I’m no parent, far from it. But here’s a list of reasons why this woman needed to be slapped.

  1. Allowing a child far too old to be in a carriage to be pushed around in a carriage.
  2. Having a carriage when clearly neither child requires a carriage.
  3. Using bribery and bargaining to make a child behave.
  4. Putting children in an environment that creates over-stimulation.
  5. Failing to LEAVE THE CHILDREN AT HOME when you need to go to the store to buy a pair of shoes.

This situation, a mother not being able to control her children, I see it every single time I go to this outlet mall. At other malls, I almost never see this situation. What is it about this one mall that attracts, what I would consider, bad parenting? There always seems to be an abundance of baby carriages at this mall yet, the children are almost always never in the carriages. When they are in, they’re not sitting still and clearly too big to be in the carriage. I would wager there is at any moment, more children pushing their own empty carriage than children riding in the carriage.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. January 5, 2012 11:20 am

    My favourite one from a big store like this:

    Kid running wild in a huge store.

    Mother shouts at the top of her voice – she can’t see the kid who is 3 aisles away:

    “Mary-Jane, come back here now! I am counting to 3! 1!!!!! 2!!!!!!!!!”

    There was no 3. She just went back to shopping. I don’t know if she ever saw her kid again.

    BTW have you seen the “People of Walmart” stuff on Youtube?

    • January 5, 2012 8:21 pm

      The People of Walmart are in video form? Gag. They are bad enough in pictures. Listening to them talk has to be a real argument for birth control.

      I’ve been avoiding people of walmart because well, Jerry Springer is still on TV.

  2. January 5, 2012 5:12 pm

    1. I still cant consistently walk without falling over or hurting myself. Does that mean i need a carraige??

    2. I was at chapters the other day with my sister, and there was this little boy SCREAMING at the top of his lungs sitting in a chair…he then made a huge production of slumping down onto the floor…kicking his boots off and rolling around on the floor in his jacket – while screaming. the caregiver just stood there and watched.

    1. yes
    2. because spanking is apparently bad

  3. January 5, 2012 5:34 pm

    What kind of neighborhood is it in? Latchkey or under privelidged?

    Parents can suck across all generations, classes, cultures, and creeds.

    The mall is around a lot of industrial zoned land. But generally in this town, there isn’t a really bad part of town.

  4. January 5, 2012 7:51 pm

    Those damned things are impossible to control without a roll of duct tape and a bottle of Benedryl.

    Duct tape, is there anything it can’t do?

  5. January 5, 2012 10:24 pm

    I was actually shocked the gym wasn’t bonkers this week! It’s usually when the “tours” start, as we like to call them.

    I go to a small gym that focuses on personal training so it’s never packed.

  6. Riot Kitty permalink
    January 5, 2012 10:32 pm

    Amen on all of the parental recommendations. I still can’t believe you need a license to drive but not one to pop things out.

    Apparently, birthing is a right or something. What about my rights not be annoyed? Childless people should unite and start their own country. I’d like to call it Fuck You and Your Kids

  7. January 6, 2012 1:05 am

    Good work getting back to the gym. Hope the soreness goes away soon.

    It did. Thanks.

  8. January 9, 2012 11:40 pm

    Good for you for getting back to the gym! It’s never easy to break inertia but I know you can do it.

    I like the Vulcan pinch form of public discipline for kids. To people looking on, you’re just kneeling in front of your kid having a conversation. To your kid, they’re wishing you would just ease up and spank them instead. Win-win! :D

    Fortunately, I think I’ve only done that once, maybe twice. My kids behave themselves. :)

    sure, your kids are good, everybody thinks their kids are behaved.

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