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Cheeseburger, Hold the Sartre

January 10, 2012

I left a job site yesterday in Timbuk-I-Dunno-Where-The-Fuck-I-Was around lunch time. It’s only natural I was hungry. Although I was I-Dunno-Where-The-Fuck-I-Was, I wasn’t in an isolated, uncivilized place. There were some stores, some well-known chain stores. I saw the golden arches and decided to hit the drive-thru for a quick lunch. A little cheeseburger and a little pack of McNuggets. Can’t go wrong with that.

Okay, can’t go horribly wrong with that.

“Welcome to McCafe,” was said by the speaker in the drive-thru.

I’ve been to McDonald’s many many many times. Ordering there is more routine than anything else. If any little detail changes or strays from the routine, I’m thrown off.

“Cheeseburger and McNuggets please,” I eventually blurt out upon regaining my composure.

“Would you like a latte or cappuccino with that?”

Again, another change in the routine. Why are they doing this to me?

I made it out of there with my cheeseburger and a six pack of chickenish nuggets. Once I bit into the McFood, everything was right with the world again. The cheeseburger was a McDonald’s cheeseburger. The McNuggets were McNuggets. That was the same as it’s always been. And that is good. Or passable, or whatever. They were as I expected. Can’t ask for more than that.

But this whole “pushing the McCafe” thing completely threw me for a whirl or something. I was momentarily lost. When something in my life is the exact same every single day of my life, even something meaningless and irrelevant like ordering a burger at a drive-thru; then to have that simple, irrelevant thing change, even ever so slightly, I’m easily lost and confronted with existential thoughts.

Who am I? Where am I? How did get here? What am I? Am I? AGH!

I don’t like that. I like my routine, especially at McDonald’s. I don’t like change in life’s simple things.

I get it that McDonald’s is evolving and offering more coffee-esque beverages, but don’t confuse me. McDonald’s doesn’t need to change it’s name to get the word out that they’ve got lattes. Everybody knows McDonald’s serves lattes. Nobody drinks them. But we all know about them.

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9 Comments leave one →
  1. January 10, 2012 9:35 am

    I’m sort of surprised how many people are ordering the McCafe items at our local McD’s in this area. But maybe where those items aren’t selling as well they’re pushing it? I dunno, but I wouldn’t like to have my McDonald’s restaurant become McCafe permanently.

    It would be very Twilight Zone-ish.

    Twilight Zone-ish, good term. That’s a very accurate way of describing such a disturbing occurance.

  2. January 10, 2012 9:38 am

    Bobette prefers McDonalds coffee to Timmy’s coffee.

    And she prefers you to men, so her judgment is already suspect.

  3. January 10, 2012 11:55 am

    I am with you there – any fast food place where they ask anything beyond “Do you want to go LARGE?” takes you out of the comfort zone.

    Just gimme my food dammit! Is it that hard?

  4. January 10, 2012 9:21 pm

    I like the McFrappes and the hot chocolate. They are the only reasons I stop at McDonalds.

    McFrappes, shudder

  5. Riot Kitty permalink
    January 11, 2012 1:08 am

    They shouldn’t go into territory like that. Not their area! Only tears will follow.

    I’m waiting for the McDonaldland character to push coffee. Maybe Grimace will have a Colombian cousin, El Grimico.El Grimico

  6. January 11, 2012 8:56 pm

    Their lattes and cappuccinos are actually quite good and you can get them made with skim milk so they’re really low in fat. Now that I’m on my diet, I often go to the McD’s drive through for only a coffee or a diet coke. The aroma that comes out of that drive through window is pure torture.

    Sigh… what I wouldn’t give for a burger or some freaking nuggets.

    put the nuggets in the burger.

  7. January 11, 2012 9:21 pm

    i vaguely remember having a snarky comment, but then i found El Grimico and it snarked itself out…

    El Grimico strikes again.

  8. January 14, 2012 12:50 am

    Ugh, ours gives you a recording first : “Have you tried our new ?” followed by the person coming on the mic “Welcome to McCafe.” But if they’re busy, and don’t think to come on the mic and tell you “I’ll be right with you”, it will pause, and a few moments later repeat the message “have you tried our new ?”, and this will keep happening until they finally come on the mic.

  9. January 16, 2012 2:50 am

    I hate it when things like that happen. I get totally thrown out of my loop and have to start the whole process over again and input the new info.

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