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My Super Bowl Pick

February 2, 2012

Well, it’s that week when everybody gets asked for their Super Bowl pick. You know somewhere in Rome, somebody’s asking the Pope for his Super Bowl pick.

“Utsa matter for you, Tom Brady marrieda a Catholic lady from Brazil, so I gonna pickeda the Pats. Shut up you stupida face.”

But for me to make my pick, I have to analyze things other than who married a Catholic.

I look at important statistics and figures and run complicated formulas through powerful multi-processor computers. I consult the wisest football analysts in the land. I speak to sages and wise men and magi. I call psychic hotlines. I use a ouija board to speak to Jimmy the Greek. I speak to gamblers, bookies, coaches, players, referees, players’ wives, players’ girlfriends, players’ boyfriends (yeah that’s right “Mr. Tight End,” you’re not fooling anybody). I have leave no stone unturned. No pebble unexamined. I have every single piece of information needed to determine the winner of the Super Bowl. I get the information to make the right decision and come up with the right Super Bowl pick.

Here it is folks, the right pick for this Sunday’s Super Bowl.

Chiefs 21
Packers 19

WHAT???? Last time I use a Magic 8 Ball.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2012 9:20 am

    FYI, the current pope’s German. Joe Aloisius Ratzinger, native of Bavaria. And Jimmy the Greek’s still alive?! Wow! I’m always learning something from this blog.

    And everyone knows this year’s Super Bowl winner will be the Jets. Rex Ryan guaranteed it at the start of the year. Or maybe it will be the “Dream Team” Philadelphia Eagles instead.

    Hm.

    The Pope is always funnier in Italian, regardless of where he’s actually from. And I used a ouija board to talk to Jimmy Snyder.

  2. February 2, 2012 10:03 am

    You make the Pope sound Italian. Isn’t he German? Not sure how the line would convert into dodgy German, though, apart from having the odd “schweinhund” thrown in.

    Popes are funnier in Italian.

  3. February 2, 2012 5:19 pm

    This just in, the pope is German. That is all.

    It’s funnier having him Italian.

  4. February 2, 2012 7:03 pm

    i miss Johnny Unitas… “Now there was a haircut you could set your watch by…”

    If we don’t watch this thing, it may not work.

  5. February 4, 2012 5:21 am

    No way! Everyone knows the Packers are gonna take home the trophy! You’re so wrong about this! You’ll see, the Pack, baby, the Pack’s gonna take it all! By 9.

    so so wrong

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