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Masters Weekend

April 10, 2012

This past weekend saw the 2012 edition of the Masters golf tournament.


Why am I the only one who thinks watching golf is more boring than watching paint dry?

Here are some of the things I did instead of watching a golf tournament on television. (Or listening to it on the radio. Seriously, the golf tournament was broadcast on the radio. I no longer consider watching golf on TV the world’s most boring inactivity. It now places second to listening to golf on the radio.)

I played a game of Trivial Pursuit. I was asked the question “Which Shoshonne woman guided Lewis and Clark?” I answered “Sackajaweeah.” “How did you know that?” I know things. It’s common knowledge that Sackajaweeah guided Lewis and Clark. (If I misspelled any words, too bad. I didn’t bother to spell check this post.) The US put her on money. Not a common denomination of US coinage, the dollar coin, but still, it’s money and she’s on it. Just like Lincoln and Washington and oh, let’s say Ulysses S. Grant. He’s probably on some money somewhere.

I went for lunch at Denny’s. Oh boy. Their monthly special is some sort of pancake deal. You can design your own pancakes. I had the buttermilk pancakes with diced bacon in the pancake and caramel sauce on top. Oh my God. Bacon in the pancake with caramel and maple-esque syrup on the pancake.

At one point, I was at a bookstore. How sad is it that the only book I saw that I’d consider buying was written by a professional wrestler?

At the hardware store, I bought some light bulbs. I figure it might be nice to have artificial light in my kitchen at night. It’s not that I need a lot of light to make myself a cup of tea, but you know, it gets dark at night and having no light in the kitchen isn’t a smart thing. One of these days I will actually get around to changing the dead light bulbs with the new ones.

But at the hardware store, I checked out their budget DVDs. Don’t ask me why the hardware store sells DVDs. I don’t know. But the bin is full of cheap movies. It’s not like I can rent DVDs anymore. There are no Blockbusters left. There might be a couple of Rogers Video stores left, but you know, I can buy the DVD for the same price as renting, so I buy the movie at a hardware store.

Pirate Radio tells the story of a pirate radio station in 1966. I had no idea whether or not it would be a good movie but I knew at the very least it would be two hours of good music. Other good things about this movie: Philip Seymour Hoffman keeps his clothes on. In fact, he’s very fully dressed throughout. When he took a swim in the ocean, he was still wearing a leather jacket. That’s a lot of clothing and that’s good. Nobody needs to see Philip in anything less than lots and lots of clothing. The movie was pretty funny at times. I would say the best way to describe the film is as such, imagine Titanic only with rock music, humour, lotsa sex and the nautical disaster doesn’t take sixteen fucking hours of my life away.

Actually, I never saw Titanic. This weekend, somebody asked me if I’d seen it. My response “What’s to see? The boat sinks at the end.”

Pirate Radio was a good movie. I enjoyed it. It got me thinking. Was the BBC so stuffy that it wouldn’t play music that millions of people wanted to hear? Government run radio stations, when will people learn… (Psst, hey CBC, I want my 1.1 billion dollars back.) It’s hard for me to grasp the concept of the BBC not wanting to play good music. My favourite music was all stuff that the BBC played in the post pirate radio days. But there was a time when the Beatles and the Stones had a hard time finding airtime on the radio. A time after they were famous. I get it if it’s 1962. Who were the Stones in 1962. But by ’66, time was on their side, they were getting satisfaction, no more playing with fire…

9 Comments leave one →
  1. April 10, 2012 8:15 am

    Why am I the only one who thinks watching golf is more boring than watching paint dry?

    You’re not. I’m with you EVERY step on that one. It’s the world’s most boring inactivity, and I’m including watching paint dry. This is not a sport.

    Golf, how the Scots yawn.

  2. April 10, 2012 8:44 am

    I remember listening to pirate radio stations when I was a child. From the town I live in you can see “The Forts” – metal buildings/platforms on stilts rising out of the sea like mini oil rigs. They were built in the Second World War as anti-aircraft gun platforms to shoot down German planes that were flying up the River Thames to bomb London. Some Pirate stations used those over the years.

    The BBC was very stuffy about what it would play – it was always a matter of great amusement that “Walk on the WIldside” was not banned. I guess no one wanted to admit that they knew what it was about?

    But they did later ban “Relax.” What was their reason? They didn’t want to promote lewd and lecivious behaviour. In other words, playing awful music like Relax is lewd and lecivious behaviour.

    • April 10, 2012 11:53 am

      Of course, by that time, getting your record banned was the best way of getting huge sales!

  3. April 10, 2012 12:19 pm

    I loved Pirate Radio, we watched it last year.

  4. April 10, 2012 2:10 pm

    Titanic was OK, if a bit long. You didn’t want a chance to oggle Kate Winslett for three hours?

    I don’t ogle women. I fondle them.

  5. April 10, 2012 6:48 pm

    i’d rather watch bowling than golf – because at least they’ve got big balls. um…. big enough to see on tv.

    the people who pay outrageous sums of money to stand outside for 3 days, whisper and clap softly? nut jobs. complete nut jobs.

  6. Riot Kitty permalink
    April 11, 2012 1:01 am

    Bacon in the pancake? Did Mr. RK die and go to heaven?

    Heaven, Denny’s; is there really a difference?

  7. April 11, 2012 3:10 am

    Golf has always been boring. I’d rather watch paint dry or grass grow. Why do they call it a sport? I never got that one either.

    Get on those light bulbs! Seeing is important, even if it’s just for making tea. Don’t want to burn yourself! And while you’re at it, you can come do ours too. The one in the kitchen keeps burning out.

  8. April 12, 2012 4:18 pm

    I’ve learned to watch PSH movies with my eyes covered. I love his voice, not so much his naked body.

    He is a fine actor. But if you are the sort to find Randy Bachman attractive (WHY?) then you should watch this movie. He looks just like Randy Bachman, old man fat Randy Bachman.

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