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March 28, 2013

What’s the deal with people blogging about same sex marriage again? Is there still a debate going on about this stuff?

Let me throw some gasoline on the fire.

Same sex marriage is wrong because…

It’s marriage.

All marriage is wrong.

Marriage is a legal contract for going steady and sharing your crap with somebody else.

“Hey Patty. Will you go steady with me?”

“Okay Sam. But only if you give me half of your stuff.”

“Will you give me half of your stuff?”

“Mmm, okay.”

Marriage is a legal documentation of that moronic process.

Do what I do. Say no to marriage. All marriage. When somebody proposes to you, say no. If you’re currently married, get a divorce. If you get invited to a wedding, don’t go. If already you’re at a wedding and the officiant asks if anybody objects to the wedding, stand up and say yes.

And Bobbette, because you’re my friend and I want what’s best for you, I’m going to give you a heads up before the wedding. I’m going to object now thus saving you embarrassment in front of your friends and family. Don’t marry Bob. He’s using you to stay in the country. He’s an illegal immigrant from Mexico. Get out now while you still can.


Next time on, why I hate puppies.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob permalink
    March 28, 2013 9:19 am

    I will pass the message along.


    Muchos gracias

  2. March 28, 2013 11:37 am

    After my first marriage, I swore I’d never get married again. But look at me now, with my “second husband” and everything. I’ll never learn.

  3. March 28, 2013 9:57 pm

    Haha! I totally forgot about this part of Princess Bride. I just commented on my friend G’s blog, I agree with him that it is totally ridiculous for couples who aren’t married to be screwed out of benefits.

  4. March 29, 2013 6:44 am

    But some of us like being married! My wife stays with me because she can’t handle the thought of having to have half of my crap! Why should gay couples be spared this aspect of life?

  5. March 29, 2013 5:23 pm

    I think gay couples should be allowed to marry so they can be just as miserable as the rest of us.

  6. April 2, 2013 5:27 pm

    Marriage is pretty cool, you get cool things, like kids and toasters.

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