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April 10, 2013

I just returned from my vacation and it was wonderful.

But with all wonderful things, there are always some not-so-great parts. Here are those parts.


It rained for the first day and half. Rained a lot. It rained so much that I had to change some of my plans. I didn’t go to the Ringling Museum because each building is so far apart, I didn’t want to run from building to building. After the rain finished Friday morning, it was all hot and sunny all the time.

Annoying People

Let the freak show begin…

At the Fantasia Mini Golf course, I was constantly held up by a family of Brits: mother, father, son, daughter. Father didn’t say two words. Mother was trying to rein in her children because son and daughter were the kids from Mary Poppins on crack. “Mummy, look at me. Mummy, look at this. Mummy, mummy, mummy!” Seriously, these children needed to be shut down for a couple of minutes. It was clear that the father was just ignoring them hoping that they will get bored and shut up for two minutes. The mother was trying too but the kids kept jumping up and down and trying to play each hole a second and third time.

In the line for the Maelstrom ride, in front of me was a family of four but really only two people played a part of consequence: the mother and the early twenties daughter. I was in line behind these people for fifteen to twenty minutes. Daughter is one of those people who clearly can’t take the “Shut the fuck up” hint. At first, the mother was trying to get a few words into the conversation but daughter wouldn’t let that happen. She just kept talking and talking and talking. I have a hard time shutting up sometimes, I’ve got a bit of a Brainy Smurf complex but I’m not that bad, am I? I know where natural light gets into this young woman’s house at different times of the day. She was talking about natural light in her house. Then somehow it morphed into how she has macromanaged her entire life. I nearly lost it when she was telling her mother how much (or how little) weight she will gain when she gets pregnant. By the way, the first pregnancy will be when she’s 23-24 years old and the second pregnancy will be when she’s 26-27 years old. She will only gain three pounds plus the the baby’s weight with each pregnancy. GOOD FUCKING LUCK LADY! (Female readers, feel free to leave comments as to how impossible it is to control body weight while pregnant.) When the ride boarded, she was convienently seated behind me. The ride began, and a narrator began speaking about ancient times in Scandanavia. This did not deter her from speaking. Her ever diplomatic mother then said “Hey, look at that?” Trying to get this young woman to focus on the ride to make her shut up for one second. I missed half the ride because she kept talking.

On Saturday night, I dined at my hotel. I didn’t want to venture into town as everything was packed, crazy packed. The traffic was just insane in every direction. Staying in the hotel avoided all of that. Leaving the hotel restaurant and just taking a walk around the hotel to walk off dinner, I was acosted by some woman at the travel information counter beside the consierge. She was really insistent on me taking a day of my vacation to go see some other resort. I felt like I had been teleported into a timeshare sales pitch. What the heck? This was my forth stay at a Doubletree hotel and have never had any issue. What was this all about? There’s a reason I keep staying at Doubletree hotels. It’s a relaxing stay. This woman weirded me out. Everybody else at the hotel was really nice and easy to deal with, just this one woman wouldn’t take no for an answer.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 10, 2013 8:55 am

    There are LOTS of British families like that…

    A lot of the others are worse but they can’t usually afford to go to the USA for a holiday. These are the ones who have at least 2 swear words in each sentence, shout even when having the most casual conversations and slap their children for swearing and/or being too loud. Ideally, each child will have a different father, too…


    I equated these people to being English rednecks.

  2. Bob permalink
    April 10, 2013 12:52 pm

    so no cool food stories?


    In due time…

  3. April 10, 2013 2:22 pm

    Did you step on her foot? Tell her to piss off? How did you get rid of her?


    I did the Canadian thing. I politely told her to piss up a flagpole. Don’t know if women can do that. Don’t care.

  4. April 10, 2013 5:56 pm

    Welcome back! Hope your vacation was, aside from the minor annoyances, enjoyable. I look forward to the culinary vicarious living you will provide!


    Just warning you it might be a long post.

  5. April 10, 2013 9:54 pm

    Welcome back! The great thing about vacations is that they offer you different annoyances than your day-to-day life. (i.e. not Carmine)

    Looking forward to reading about your adventures in food.

  6. April 10, 2013 10:16 pm

    i have no patience for yappy people. and yappy 20-something women who have all the answers, and a scheduled plan for life? i’d have pushed her onto the tram tracks…

    love Doubletree hotels. not just for the cookies!


    I’m allergic to the cookies. Four stays. Never ate one.

  7. April 10, 2013 11:36 pm

    I’m so glad you’re back and that you had a nice vacation!

    Some things sure sound annoying, but in the end, they were good blog fodder.

    Can’t wait to hear about the food!


    Just published. I can’t wait to go back and eat the food again.

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