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The Blog of Many Blogs

April 19, 2013

Blogging

So Google Reader is shutting down soon. The one Google service I actually like to use and am willing to use on a regular basis is going away.

And I thought Google wanted to know what I was reading. I guess they don’t need Reader anymore to track my reading habits seeing as how they can see what I see with the Google Glasses.

No. I did not get Google Glasses. I will not get Google Glasses. Those glasses can do more than just see and record what you see; they can also read your mind.

Whether we like it or not, Google will conquer the world. Google is the genocidal computer system theorized through Skynet.

In the meantime, I’ve moved my blog readings over to The Old Reader. It’s okay. It was the third system I’ve tried after Google Reader. I will probably stick to this one until something better comes along. Or until all of your blogs become completely unreadable.

Top Ten Sucks

There are a lot of things pissing me off right now. I’ve compiled a list of ten things that really suck right now.

10. Me – I can’t stop buying shoes. I bought another pair a couple days ago. Dark red on the sides, purple tongue and toe all the way to the back and brown sole. They look a bit like Grimace’s bowling shoes, if Grimace had bowling shoes. This pair is equally silly and awesome.

9. Transit in Toronto – Subway expansion has been blocking lanes on two streets I regularly use. I really hope this new subway expansion makes my traveling easier in 2015 and on. It won’t, but I hope it does. Streetcar expansion in Toronto is continuing even though nobody has ever been able to explain why streetcar existance is a good thing. And Toronto’s brand new streetcars don’t fit on some of the older streets and platforms so stops will be removed from service in some areas. In other areas with brand new streetcar platforms, the new cars won’t fit on those either. That means the brand new, barely used yet platforms will have to be rebuilt.

8. Blackberry Z10 – Carmine got one of these. He’s never had a Blackberry before. I played around with it a little bit so as to help him learn to use this smartphone. (By the way, if the phone was so smart, shouldn’t it be able to teach me how to use it instead of hoping I can figure it out?) I don’t like it. The equivalent to the iPhone’s home button is an upward swipe on the touch screen. That means the screen is always touch sensitive. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer buttons to touch screens. After a month or so, Carmine went back to his old iPhone. I guess it’s a consensus. The new Blackberry sucks.

7. Racists – There are so many valid reasons to hate people. Hating somebody because of their race is just plain lazy. That’s something the French would do. If you’re going to hate somebody, which I highly recommend, base your hate on something substantial. For example, hate me, not because I’m white, but because I’m an asshole.

6. Mud – I hate mud. Everything is muddy right now. That means the bottom of my pant legs are muddy. That means my shoes are muddy. Okay, before you fly off the handle, not my suede Pumas. Those are not muddy. I avoid mud at all costs when wearing those shoes. That means I barely wear those shoes right now.

5. Bob’s DJ – Bob told me that the DJ at his wedding didn’t play the songs that were requested. Each RSVP had space for two songs to be requested by the guests. I guess those did not get played. I didn’t request anything. Bob requested a song on my behalf. It was not played. After speaking to others at my table, I don’t think their requests were played either. So, for not playing the songs requested at a wedding, this wedding DJ sucks. Also, for playing the songs he did play, he sucks. It’s just not a wedding without the Chicken Dance.

4. Rogers Cable – Rogers is moving a couple of channels around. The only channel of note will be Spike TV. I like a few shows on Spike. I like the wrestling and I like Bar Rescue and I like World’s Worst Tenants. I like Spike TV. But I don’t like it enough to pay more for my cable package. Rogers sucking is nothing new. If I switch to the one competitor, all the same issues would arise, just everything would be blue instead of red. And everybody knows I prefer red to blue.

3. Justin Trudeau – I don’t want to judge this guy by the actions of his parents, but there isn’t a whole lot to judge him by just yet. And now he’s the leader of a major federal political party. So far, all he’s really done to gain notice is talk about a hypothetical person responsible for the Boston bombings. His speech was poorly orated. (Didn’t he used to be a drama teacher? And this guy can’t speak a sentence without using ‘um’ and ‘uh’ and ‘er’ repeatedly.) So far, he hasn’t done anything to distance himself from his parents. If he wants my vote, he damn well better. Otherwise, he just plain sucks. And so will Canada for inevitably voting him to be Prime Minister.

2. Humidity – I hate humidity. It makes it hard for me to breathe and it makes me always tired. Humid weather sucks.

1. Explosions – The Boston Marathon Bombings and the West, Texas Fertilizer Explosion. Two separate kinds explosions but they both suck. The Boston bombings suck because somebody or some people felt it necessary to blow up bombs in the middle of a crowd of people coming together to celebrate the triumph of the human body and spirit. I don’t care why the guilty parties did it. Just find them and make them disappear. As for the fertilizer. I don’t want to make light of this situation but sometimes shit happens. When dealing with an explosive substance, a lot of care has to be taken by everybody involved. Because if care is not taken, things get blowed up. Something similar happened in Toronto a few years ago at a propane facility. It was a much smaller explosion but it did happen inside the city of Toronto. That’s a city of over two million people. The Toronto propane explosion happened because somebody didn’t pay attention and cut corners. You can’t cut corners with explosive substances.

Wedding Songs for Bob

I didn’t recommend any songs for Bob’s wedding. Asking me to choose two songs is like asking a parent to pick their favourite child. How do you choose?

Okay, you can choose. But you probably should never let the choice be known. And pretend that no choice can be made.

Here is the list of songs I thought about requesting for Bob’s wedding.

  • Why Should I Worry by Billy Joel
  • Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot
  • March of the Black Queen/Funny How Love Is by Queen
  • Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding by Elton John
  • Funiculì, Funiculà preferably sung by Rodney Dangerfield but most any version would do
  • The Sorrowful Wife by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

The song Bob requested on my behalf that was never played, Let’s Dance by David Bowie.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 19, 2013 1:11 pm

    “For example, hate me, not because I’m white, but because I’m an asshole.”

    As you command…

    ———

    I wonder what else I can command you to do.

  2. April 20, 2013 1:02 am

    HAHA! I wish I could be at that wedding. I think it’s great that you’re buying shoes.

    ——–

    You would have enjoyed it. Speeches referenced cats and the veggie meal was apparently pretty good.

  3. Bob permalink
    April 20, 2013 12:06 pm

    What about “Another one bites the dust” by Queen?

    I hadn’t heard that SpikeTV was moving, I also like Bar Rescue and the Tenant’s show.

    ——–

    Check your mail. Rogers sent out the notice last week.

  4. April 20, 2013 7:09 pm

    I moved my blogroll over to The Old Reader, but I’m still using Google for now, until TOR gets its systems upgraded to handle the sudden increase in traffic.
    10. Your shoe problem is now officially worse than my shoe problem.
    8. Thanks for the tip. My step-dad wants to buy a smart phone, and he is my Carmine. I shall advise him accordingly.
    5. WHAT? That DJ needs to be punished severely.
    3. I don’t know much about Justin Trudeau, except that the ladies think he’s hott. I don’t think he’s hott, and I certainly hope he’s not getting hottness votes. Although I guess that’s the basis for democracy. You get to vote even if you’re ridiculous.

    ——-

    I’ve said it before, democracy doesn’t work.

  5. April 20, 2013 9:45 pm

    The line “By the way, if the phone was so smart, shouldn’t it be able to teach me how to use it instead of hoping I can figure it out?” made me laugh out loud. True. I watched the launch of the new BB on YouTube with a friend and we had a good time making lots of fun about it because it was lame.

    I can’t believe that DJ not playing requests. Boo.

    Man you are a shoe-aholic!

    ——-

    As long as I don’t snort shoes, I should be okay

  6. April 21, 2013 12:01 am

    Those are some pretty good sucks. Some of those are on my suck-list too.

    As for blogging, I have relied daily on the Reader for years now and I’ve been in a state of … something but not (quite) panic, over what to replace it with. I’ve gone through about a dozen so far. I hope to do some posts on the whole thing soon.

    ——

    I’ve actually been waiting for you to get on it.

  7. April 24, 2013 11:18 pm

    I don’t even live in TO and the streetcar construction is driving me bonkers!

    ——–

    Makes you wonder if the city planners are literate.

  8. May 2, 2013 10:28 pm

    “There are so many valid reasons to hate people. Hating somebody because of their race is just plain lazy.” — THAT, good sir, is sheer brilliance!

    i, too, am pissed at the loss of Google Reader. i think they’re doing it just to mess with us for never liking Google+….

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