Skip to content

Earth Day Facts

April 22, 2013

– Today is Earth Day, Earth’s birthday. The Earth turns 675,244,150,016 today. Rumour has it that Mars is giving us a picture frame and Venus is giving a donation to Greenpeace in Earth’s name.
– In the past year, the following Earth creatures have gone extinct: vampires, zombies, werewolves and ghosts. Meanwhile jerks, assholes and mother fucker populations are at an all-time high.
– Percentage of natural resources that were recycled into garbage in the past year: 37%. Percentage of products made from recycled goods that are garbage: 100%.
– In celebration of Earth Day, it is estimated that more than 6 billion people will inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. In a related act of protest, many plants, trees and shrubs will inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen.

Happy Earth Day everyone!

Advertisements
7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 22, 2013 9:05 am

    In the past year, the following Earth creatures have gone extinct: vampires, zombies, werewolves and ghosts. Meanwhile jerks, assholes and mother fucker populations are at an all-time high.

    These are almost certainly related. Without the natural predators to hold their populations in check, the explosion amongst those particular groups was inevitable. We should have protected them before it was too late. NOW look at what’s left.

    ——–

    I know I know.

  2. April 22, 2013 10:06 am

    I tried to convince our students that we should switch off the computers for a day. They weren’t impressed…

    ——–

    I thought computers were earth friendly.

  3. April 22, 2013 8:14 pm

    Why can’t we recycle the jerks and come up with werewolves?

    ——-

    You want werewolves?

  4. April 22, 2013 9:56 pm

    Don’t forget about the extinction of unicorns, gnomes, and pixies. :)

    ———-

    Oh my dear, unicorns are a figment of your imagination.

  5. April 25, 2013 3:15 pm

    Happy Belated Earthday! I’m getting earth a gift card for iTunes.

    ——–

    I heard Earth still uses a Zune.

  6. April 26, 2013 12:03 am

    Happy Earth Day. :) I heard that Sol was going to heat up the party.

    In honor of Earth Day, I’m going to recycle all my recycled goods.

  7. April 26, 2013 12:44 pm

    My farts are recyclable, and I benefit from that greatly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: