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August 27, 2013

In Ontario, there’s a city called Burlington. For those who’ve never been but have driven through, it’s best known for having this suspension bridge that spans a narrow corner of Lake Ontario. The purpose of the bridge is to allow motorists and vehicles to travel between Toronto and the Niagara Peninsula without having to drive through or around the city of Hamilton. The bridge allows for cars and trucks to cut across the lake right before entering Hamilton. Frankly, nobody wants to go to Hamilton, nobody even wants to drive through Hamilton. The bridge fulfills that desire.

The city of Burlington recently built a new bridge, a pedestrian bridge. This new bridge juts out into the lake at the base of the downtown’s main street. And then it just stops.

It’s a bridge to nowhere.

I thought it was a pier or something but there’s nowhere to dock a boat. It’s just half of a bridge.

Okay, not really half. Much less than half. It goes just a few hundred meters past the waterline. Nowhere near halfway to the other side of the lake. A pedestrian bridge to cross Lake Ontario would be pointless. It’s too wide to cross on foot.

Then what the heck is the point of this bridge. Is it just to walk out over the water and look at the water? Oh gee, I can’t do that from the beach. Is it to back up and look at the city’s skyline? It can’t be that. Burlington doesn’t really have a great skyline. I did get a nice view of a parking structure and the patio of a bar called the Beaver.

Oh, I almost forgot the funniest part. When I was there, I noticed a bridal party having their photos taken on the waterfront. One of the bridesmaids was wearing this awful pink dress. It was made of shards of torn pink fabric that kind of looked like feathers. The dress was short in the front but long in the back. It was the pink mullet of bridesmaid dresses.

After leaving Burlington, I drove into Oakville for dinner. My after-dinner walk through Oakville took me past a bridal gown shop. Guess what pink dress was in the window.

The dress pretty much looked like this one. Only in pink. I’m not spending too much time searching Internetland for the exact dress. (Let’s pretend I have a life.)


5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 27, 2013 10:26 pm

    Those kinds of dresses were really popular back in the 80s/90s, I believe. I’m surprised they’re making a comeback. The front looks much shorter though, than it used to.

    Maybe it’s not really the bridge to nowhere, but the Bridal Bridge, specifically built for bridal party pictures.

    You’ve intrigued me. I’ll have to see if I can find what you’re talking about on Google Maps. :)

  2. August 28, 2013 1:53 am

    In pink? I think that would be a good color on you.

  3. August 30, 2013 12:07 pm

    Ah yes, the “waterfall hemline”. I was just complaining about it to a friend of mine. I was thinking of calling it the “showcases my blabby middle-aged knees” hemline, but “mullet dress” is much snappier.

  4. September 2, 2013 10:44 pm

    Rather than the ‘waterfall hemline’ dress, i shall henceforth call these ‘mullet dresses’. that should help quench the return of these atrocities!

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