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Weekend Recap: There’s no business like snow business

December 16, 2013

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I bought one of those car reindeer kits. You know that stupid thing that transforms a car into a red-nosed reindeer: two fake antlers that attach to car windows and a puffy red nose ball that ties to a car grill. Yeah, I bought one of those sets and attached it to Carmine’s car.

He wasn’t amused.

I was amused. Especially when after he removed the antlers but left the nose because he didn’t know it was there. He drove around town with the nose until somebody mentioned it to him.

Saturday afternoon I shoveled the snow from my driveway. Then again on Sunday morning. The Saturday shoveling was the pre-emptive strike. There wasn’t more than an inch or so down but it allowed me to create a base for shoveling and remove the car tracks knowing full well a larger snowfall was coming. I also laid down a coat of salt to soften up that approaching snowfall. Sunday’s snowfall was significant but not debilitating. It took me an hour and a half to clear the driveway and front walkway, but it was done. And it was some good cardio.

I still managed to go out a few times over the weekend.

Sunday afternoon, I was driving down this one side street. A car turned onto that street in front of me. It still amazes me that people need to be reminded that there is a difference between summer and winter driving. This car took the turn much to quickly. The front wheels turned properly and stayed in the right lane. The rear wheels didn’t turn and went into the left lane. The car straightened itself out and drove ahead. Seeing all this unfold in front of me, I casually slowed down and kept a safe, very safe distance between myself and the crazy, turns-too-much car. Because, I kept my distance, I wasn’t sure if this car had it’s trunk open or not. It seemed to me like the trunk wasn’t properly shut. As this car drove over a speed bump, the trunk opened up all the way. A couple of seconds later, the car slowed down and pulled over. I’m assuming to close the open trunk. I didn’t stick around to find out. I passed the car and made it safely to my destination.

I understand that in Finland or some such place, obtaining a driver’s license is dependant on passing a winter driving test. I think Canada should implement such a program. Yes, I’m against further intrusion by an inept government but I’m also worried about having to share the road with idiots who don’t know how to drive. Then again, an inept government, such as the one I’m currently living under, does a piss-poor job of preventing unlicensed drivers from being behind the wheel of a car. I guess I’m fucked either way.

Somebody called Carmine “grandpa” on Sunday. It was sort of meant as a joke but his face turned white anyway. And that got me thinking about the word “grandpa.” Grandfather, grandmother, grandparent; those words all sound so 19th century. Grand is no longer the superlative it once was. The role, the title, it needs a modernization. I’m thinking of replacing “grand” with something more contemporary, something like “super” or “mega.” Take Carmine for example, could he ever be a granddad? NO! But a megadad. Oh yeah, I think that’s more Carmine’s style.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. December 16, 2013 11:00 pm

    Bahaha to your reindeer-car prank on Carmine. Too funny.

    ———

    I just took a look at his car. He still left the nose on the grill

  2. December 18, 2013 1:31 am

    Hahaha! Carmine got run over by Rudolph! :)

  3. December 18, 2013 9:07 am

    Uberdad?
    Wickedad?
    Bitchin-dad?

  4. December 22, 2013 3:59 pm

    Silly Carmine. I wonder how he’d feel about being called Uber-papa?

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