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Donkey Nucleaic Acid

February 25, 2016

Is that what DNA stands for? Meh, whatever.

I was talking to this guy last night. He wants his parents to take one of those DNA tests that shows the subject’s geneological (spelling?) breakdown. He wants his parents to be a bit more tolerant of other races. He thinks that by proving they’re 2% black, they’ll be less likely to tell one of those old-timey mildly racist jokes.

Yeah, good luck with that. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks and you can’t teach a mildly racist senior citizen to stop being mildly racist.

But that got me thinking. How much do those tests cost? How does one go about getting the DNA from another person in order to administer the test without the subject’s knowledge. Carmine’s DNA breakdown.

“Hey Carmine, you’re only 75% Italian.”

“Really, I’da tought ‘igher… Whass da uder 25?”


9 Comments leave one →
  1. February 25, 2016 8:04 am

    Deoxyribonucleic acid, actually, but you likely knew that IRL. :) Still, “Donkey” makes a lot of sense, and maybe that should be the case. After all, it would explain why so many people act like jacka$$es, don’t you think? :)

    • February 25, 2016 8:51 am

      I didn’t even consider the donkey = jackass thing. I was implying that Carmine is part donkey because he claims he’s been raised on donkey milk as opposed to human and cow.

      • February 25, 2016 10:36 am

        I’m not speaking of Carmine, specifically, but the jackass thing? I like the donkeynucleic acid explanation.

  2. Christielli permalink
    February 25, 2016 10:30 pm

    When I have my students do DNA Fingerprinting labs, they use their cheek cells. Easy to get and chock-full of DNA, as opposed to blood where only 1% of the cells are nucleated (the white blood cells) and there is significantly less DNA.

    What I’m saying is to give him a lollipop and hold onto the stick.

  3. February 26, 2016 12:40 am

    Donkey?! Oh goodness, if that were true then you’d be a … oh we are SO not going there! LOLOL

    I think there’s a place called “23 and me” or something like that, that you can get those tests done. I’ve heard you are sent a swab, with which you have to wipe the inside of your mouth and then send it back. You’d have to sneak-swipe Carmine while he’s sleeping or something.

    We’ve had those tests recommended to us, too. But in this day and age, who’s not a little bit of pretty much everything?

    • February 26, 2016 9:59 am

      Pretty much everything, yes. But to exactly what is everything. But what if you could actually be 100% something.

  4. February 28, 2016 6:37 pm

    I’m afraid to get one of those tests. I don’t want to find out that I have all the genes for Alzheimers or something like that. That would be a bummer.

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