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Carmine: Peacock or Pea Brain?

March 3, 2016

Carmine came up to me with a pill bottle.

“I been takin’ one of dees every udda day. Goo-goo (google) what dey do?”

You’ve been taking pills without knowing what they do! (I’d have been surprised if it wasn’t typical Carmine.)

I typed the name of the drug into a Google search engine and did some reading.

Carmine, this drug is usually prescribed to women after they have breast cancer surgery.

“So, what does dat mean?”

It means you’re an idiot. You haven’t had breast cancer surgery, you haven’t been diagnosed with breast cancer and you’re not a woman. Or is there something you’re not telling me?

“Are dey bad for me?”

I didn’t know how to answer that question. The whole situation had me completely dumb-founded. It’s like talking to a four year old with money, free-time and a driver’s license.

I miss the days when you just drank and smoked.

Upon further research, I learned that this drug is also, but rarely, prescribed to men who suffer from gynocomastia (or man-titties). In other words, guys who took steroids and developed man-titties took this drug to shrink their hormonally-imbalanced chest.


I’ve told Carmine’s family about this. I’ve also told one of Carmine’s friends. Not to spur on an intervention, but to ridicule him. An intervention won’t stop Carmine, he’s too self-absorbed. He will think everybody is just fawning over him. And that’s what he wants. Ridicule will affect his vanity which is probably what led him to do half of the crazy shit he’s done throughout his life.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. March 3, 2016 2:19 pm

    Taking pills you don’t know the reason for taking. Hm.

  2. March 3, 2016 9:43 pm

    I seriously missed your Carmine stories while you were gone!

  3. March 4, 2016 3:51 pm

    Hey! Carmine! Good to see the old dog hasn’t apparently learned any new tricks! He may be self-destructive, but he sure is entertaining for the rest of us…

  4. March 6, 2016 12:43 am

    Seriously?! He’s been taking drugs that he doesn’t know what they’re for or what they do?! Oh my goodness!

    It must be really hard … I guess sometimes you must feel like the dad.

  5. March 6, 2016 5:10 pm

    I don’t understand how he got his hands on these pills. Was someone selling them on the street? Or did he go to his doctor with a man-boob concern?

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