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Red Goop

March 17, 2016

I’ve got to hand it to the Liberals like the visually-impaired sex trade workers that they are. Taxes are high, services are low, a military recruitment centre was attacked a couple days ago; and yet the hot topic of the day is still… wait for it…

Ketchup.

No, not the ages old ketchup versus catsup debate but the new-fangled Heinz versus Frenchs battle of the sweet vinegary red gloppy stuff.

Brief history lesson. A long time ago, Heinz hired a factory in Leemington Ontario to process tomato goop into ketchup and various other tomato-based products. Last year, Heinz pulled the ketchup production from that Leemington facility. Advocates for the Leemington tomato industry said “This will kill the town!” The facility continued to produce other Heinz products, just not the ketchup. The advocates never bothered to mention that fact. So the gubment gave the factory 2.5 million buckaroos. Frenchs stepped in and hired the Leemington factory to produce ketchup for them instead. Yeah, the jobs were saved. The crisis was averted. A couple of weeks ago, an Orillia Ontario man started a social media campaign to get more people to buy Frenchs ketchup because it’s made in Ontario even though most stores don’t stock the Frenchs. All of sudden, there was a public out-pouring of support for Frenchs and public villiany of Heinz. Ontarians were on the verge of torches and pitchforks outside the Heinz offices until the mayor of Leemington said “Don’t boycott Heinz, they still use our facility to produce other tomato products.”

Now the people of Ontario are being torn between two American companies who are at the centre of a battle over ketchup.

We are being manipulated into caring more about ketchup than the real issues of the day. Outside of that one town that is, apparently getting by based on one industry and one industry alone, ketchup is a non-issue. People who care deeply about ketchup will by the brand of their preference and everybody else will buy which ever brand is cheaper. The cheaper brand generally being the retailer’s private brand which is often produced at the same place the market leader is produced.

I bet you’re wondering which brand I prefer. Screw ’em both. I don’t like ketchup.

Now that this issue is settled, let’s get back to the real issue of the day: the orange with the bad comb-over versus the squirrel-faced lady.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 17, 2016 2:04 pm

    Ah, politics. Don’tcha just love ’em? :)

  2. March 18, 2016 10:40 am

    *French’s

  3. March 26, 2016 1:12 am

    “We are being manipulated into caring more about ketchup than the real issues of the day.” The right hand must never look at what the left is doing.

    Did you know that ketchup is not allowed on a Chicago-style hot dog? But neon-green pickle relish is.

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