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Did You Know…

March 18, 2016

… Red Lobster does a very good chicken dish? The maple glaze chicken entree at Red Lobster is delicious. I’ve had it several times. It’s always cooked just right. Two pieces of chicken breast, grilled perfectly. Cooked through but still juicy. Served on a bed of rice. The whole thing is topped with a savoury maple sauce. It sounds weird but I go out of my way to go to Red Lobster for the chicken. I don’t eat fish and seafood. That stuff creeps me out. But I love that chicken.

… The size of man is inversely proportional to the size of his kitchen? Every home I’ve ever lived in had a large kitchen. I’m short. I recently saw the childhood home of this guy I know. He’s a tall man. Not gangly, just tall. The kitchen in that house is the size of my bathroom. I asked him if this was the kitchen where all his childhood meals were prepared. He said yes. It’s the opposite of a fish. You put a fish in a tiny pond, it stays tiny. You put a fish in a big pond, it grows and grows and grows. How can I market this concept to parents? Oh, you want your children to grow up big and strong? Shrink your kitchen!

———

On a completely different topic, I’ve decided to endorse Donald Trump for President of the United States of America. (As a Canadian, I have no influence or stake in the matter but I like the sound of my own voice and I talk as I type.)

I have no faith in Mr. Trump as an effective administrator of government but I have no faith in any politician.

The one thing that Mr. Trump has that nobody else in the race has is that he’s a complete and total ass-hat and does absolutely nothing to hide it. All of the other major candidates are typical politicos. The Republicans (except Trump) are all a bunch of cookie-cutter automatons. The Democrats are not much better. You’ve got two career politicians who really have only ever known suckling off the tax-payer’s teet.

Donald Trump is the complete opposite of everybody else in the race today. He doesn’t give a shit about what people think of him. He speaks completely off-the-cuff all of the time. He makes shit up. Other politicians carefully craft their bullshit speak so that they can say lots of words without saying any one definitive thing. Not Trump. He makes bold statements.

Seriously, how bad could he really be? Is he going to send the young men and women off to fight and die in some God-forsaken hole? Probably but so has pretty much every US president in the past 100 years. Is he going to build a big-ass wall on the border of Mexico? He’s gonna try. It’s not going to work but it is a massive public works project that the US hasn’t seen since the FDR or Eisenhower administrations. Is he going to make the rest of the world hate America? Knock knock, who’s there? It’s the rest of the world and it already hates America.

I say, vote Trump then watch the late night talk shows and laugh yourself to sleep for the next four years because this guy is comedy gold. You think Dubya was great comedic fodder? Well, you ain’t seen nuthin’ yet!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2016 10:43 am

    My husband has a theory that if a woman is a dog owner, the size of her dog is inversely proportional to the size of her boobs.

  2. March 26, 2016 1:16 am

    I did not know that about Red Lobster’s chicken. I don’t think I’ve eaten there in at least a decade, but it’s good to know in case I go any time soon.

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